Here is just some of the nonsense from today as well as the last 8 years. ENJOY....

- PHONE CALL: Um, yes. An Audi customer just had an accident down the road and the air bags deployed. Can you send someone out to assist ? Sir, I suggest you dial 911. We already did but can you send someone out to assist ? Assist HOW sir ? We are not POLICE or PARAMEDICS. Are you sure someone called 911 ? If not I' can call for you right now. HE hung up.

- PHONE: I just had an accident with one of your cars. How do you handle that ? You had an accident with one of our loaner cars ? No, I LEASE it from you so it's YOUR car. Do you give me a loaner car and have it repaired ? Um, mam, let me stop you right there. Whether you LEASED or PURCHASED the car, it's YOUR car. You pay the insurance on it. I suggest you call YOUR insurance company and file a claim for the repair. Y'all don't have a contract with a body shop to fix leased cars ? Again mam, you would handle that thru your insurance. Do you provide me with a loaner car while it's in the body shop ? No mam. You might want to check your insurance policy for rental car coverage. We do not provide loaner cars for any body work.

- IN PERSON: I'd like to drop my E320 off to have the hood repaired. Someone vandalized it. And pick up a loaner car. Let me see if the body shop manager is free to write you an estimate and set up an appointment. Oh, I have to pay for that ? Well sir, as you said, someone VANDALIZED the car. That's an issue you'd take up with your insurance company. Well I thought when you lease an expensive car like this, this type of thing would be covered. That's not the case,sir.

- PHONE: My Q7 is 3 weeks old and none of the MMI controls are working. I'm so pissed off !! Did you spill something on it ? No !! Of course not !! Bring it right down.
NOW IN PERSON: The buttons are awfully sticky mam. Let me pull it apart. SILENCE. 10 minutes later: Something was spilled in the controls mam. ABSOLUTELY NOT !!! Well mam, there's staining from some type of liquid down both sides of the console and the wood has streaks like a liquid was wiped off, and my guess is BEER. Would you like to smell the controls ? I have them right here. CALLS THE HUBBY ON HER CELL: Handle this, she says. Explain what I found: DOESN'T MY LEASE COVER THAT ? No sir. BEER was not on the options list. It's about $980. She drives out.

- IN PERSON: Bubble on the right front tire of a C320 with 700 miles: You have to replace the defective tire on my car. That's not a DEFECT sir, that's an IMPACT BREAK. You hit a pot hole just hard enough to cut the inner lining and the air is migrating between the layers of the tire. Had you been traveling 5mph faster, you'd have blown the tire on the spot. Well I didn't hit ANYTHING. SO this black mark on the wheel and the bend on that same spot means the wheel is defective also ? No, it's an indication of a pothole impact. Well it's a brand new tire. That shouldn't happen. Well then let's apply that logic to the entire car. That's a BRAND NEW STEEL fender. If I kick it, will it dent ? Left and went to a local tire shop. Came back to me and bought a NEW tire.

- This conversation took place in MAY (forget the year). Issue was a ML320 needing an engine due to lack of servicing for 24,000 miles. Rep declined a warranty claim: It's YOUR responsibility to bring the car in for service. I was JUST here in SEPTEMBER for brakes and no one told me I was due for a service.

- I'm sorry the tech can't fix your car. He's a dumbass and deserves to be shot. That's just ME thinking out loud sometimes.

- I'm sorry I forgot to call you back. I'm a dumbass and deserve to be shot for having to deal with the above nonsense before your needs. Again, ME thinking out loud.

I can continue. There's PLENTY more...

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Sharing my partner's 2012 Forte 5dr SX til I find my next 123 or 126..
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Do I miss being a service advisor ???