Paul, of course you and your family have my sympathy and condolences. On the subject of funeral practices, I think we in the US tend to gloss-over the reality of death: I think it would be very instructive for people to see the cremated bones, for instance. Birth and death are messy, unpleasant processes, and our society tries to hide/deny that unpleasantness.

I work at a funeral home/cemetery combination. As a general rule, the family is in a mad rush to get away from the graveside, so they can go to the luncheon or get a beer at the VFW. I did, however, have a family we served recently, who wanted to participate...the grown sons of the deceased took off their suit coats, rolled up their sleeves, and helped close the grave. Truth be known, they slowed down the process more than they helped, but it was important for them to be part of the process.

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2002 Ford ZX2
2 x 2013 Honda Civics