Quote:
Originally Posted by davestlouis
Paul, of course you and your family have my sympathy and condolences. On the subject of funeral practices, I think we in the US tend to gloss-over the reality of death: I think it would be very instructive for people to see the cremated bones, for instance. Birth and death are messy, unpleasant processes, and our society tries to hide/deny that unpleasantness.
I work at a funeral home/cemetery combination. As a general rule, the family is in a mad rush to get away from the graveside, so they can go to the luncheon or get a beer at the VFW. I did, however, have a family we served recently, who wanted to participate...the grown sons of the deceased took off their suit coats, rolled up their sleeves, and helped close the grave. Truth be known, they slowed down the process more than they helped, but it was important for them to be part of the process.
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Dave, I know exactly what you mean. In my wife's very rural family the funeral process is much more personal. They (the women) wash and dress the corpse, for example. The men used to dig the hole but now a relative rents a backhoe to dig the trench. But all of the men who feel so moved take a shovel and back-fill. It involves an almost-ritual of a man taking off his jacket and tie and passing it to a nearby man and then shoveling until he breaks a sweat. It's pretty interesting. I think these old customs will die-out in my generation.
We have sterilized and mechanized life such that few people touch the important transitions. It increasingly reminds me of Huxley's "Brave New World" description of death in his dystopia.
B
PS Paul, I apologize for the digression, but I hope it's appropriate.