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Originally Posted by raymr
mgburg, thanks for posting that. You are correct in that mom and dad are not on the same page about dealing with their wild kid. The last thing I heard is that the shrink wants to put the boy, and the dad, on medication to tame their anger issues(!). I feel so lucky that we didn't have to deal with that kind of stuff. Then again I made every effort to squash the misbehavior in our kids as soon as I saw it when they were just toddlers. ... As far as hitting, I would not smack any one else's kid. Its not my place to. I also don't know where to go from here. Technically its none of my business but I can't stand by and watch an impending train wreck either.
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Oh, don't get me wrong on the hitting part...that was meant more for your brother than you...my SUGGESTION was for you and your wife to take the road of silence and back away from them 'til the son gets himself under control...
I'm afraid that way I would approach your brother's family is the same as I would approach a highly-aggitated dog on a whimpy-worn leash...I'd move away as soon and as fast as possible. The kid has the propensity to explode in the most unpredictable way.
I had a step-father that was less than a trigger-pull from meeting his maker when I was 10yo...the only thing that saved him and me from that situation of total grief was a thought that ran through my head at that moment. That particular thought, as convoluted as it was and as silly as it seems now, made more sense to me at that moment than anything else that anyone could have said to me...the result of that moment allowed him to live and I was able to walk away from that moment a changed child. It took that epiphany to change my heart...and it DEFINATELY was a change...what prompted it, I don't know...but it was at that time I realized that only I could control the situation around me up to a point and that I had to let things run their proper course.
My situation wasn't anything like what your brother and his son are dealing with...but knowing that kids can (and do) explode is ALWAYS a possiblilty. I would definately check to be sure there are no weapons in the house...and HIGHLY suggest that your brother and neice get out of there...fast.
Maybe your brother explaining, in writing to his wife, the reason for the separation is because he and her can't come to a certain and solid understanding and agreement with how to control Jr.. And until that problem is resolved to EVERYONE'S satisfaction, he needs to take some sort of control and remove as many possible survivors and save them from the situation...since she's not on the same page as him, he needs to leave her with Jr.. He's already at odds with the brainfalks and related minutia on how the current treatments are going and his wife is only keeping the pain-train rolling down that track. He doesn't need that while trying to stabilize his daughter's understanding of the situation too...I'm sorry to say this but I wouldn't want to be in his shoes at this time for all the money in the world...he has one hell of a road ahead of him and all I can add to this is that his family will be in my prayers...you and your family should be available for him...he'll definately need it...and your neice...same for her, if not more so.
Again, good luck with your family and hang in there...there's going to be a few bumps...hopefully that's all it turns out to be.
