By definition, a "reasonable" tow vehicle would exclude about anything British, I would say.
UHaul has flatbed car haulers (or did, anyway). That still leaves you needing to scare up a big truck to drag the thing home, I guess.
What's wrong with the Disco, anyway? They are beautiful trucks, but I was scared off Rovers by a friend who had one a few years ago. It was the neediest vehicle I have ever personally known to exist. Sharp looking, but a money pit. It sounds like you know this coming in, though.