Someone else here came up with the following e-mail response that I liked particularly. You can search for the original:

From: "FEDERAL BUREAU INVESTIGATION ANTI FRAUD DEPARTMENT"
Date: SAT, 13 June 2009 09:41:11 -
Subject: ANTI FRAUD DEPARTMENT UNITED STATE TREASURY.

ATTENTION:

THIS IS THE FEDERAL BUREAU INVESTIGATION / ANTI FRAUD DEPARTMENT UNITED STATE TREASURY.

DUE TO YOUR FRAUDULENT EMAIL SENT TO OUR UNDERCOVER INVESTIGATORS WE HAVE TRACED YOUR COMPUTER TO YOUR EXACT ADDRESS. HAND YOUR SELF OVER TO THE NEAREST LAW ENFORCEMENT OFFICE AS AN INTERNATIONAL WARRANT HAS BEEN SERVED FOR YOUR ARREST.

THE CONSEQUENCES OF NOT COOPERATING WITH OUR DEMANDS IS YOUR INFORMATION WILL BE TRANSFERRED TO OUR INTERNATIONAL SECRET POLICE, RESULTING IN YOUR ARREST, INJURY, AND POSSIBLE DEATH IF YOU RESIST. YOU WILL ALSO BE INCARCERATED FOR AN INDEFINITE PERIOD IN AN INTERNATIONAL PRISON WITHOUT TRIAL. YOUR HOME COUNTRY IS VERY COOPERATIVE WITH OUR AGENCY AND WILL NOT PROTECT YOU. THIS IS YOUR ONLY WARNING.

DIRECTOR
ANTI FRAUD DEPARTMENT.
UNITED STATE TREASURY

__________________
1998 C230 330,000 miles (currently dead of second failed EIS, yours will fail too, turning you into the dealer's personal human cash machine)
1988 F150 144,000 miles (leaks all the colors of the rainbow)
Previous stars: 1981 Brava 210,000 miles, 1978 128 150,000 miles, 1977 B200 Van 175,000 miles, 1972 Vega (great, if rusty, car), 1972 Celica, 1986.5 Supra