A former friend of mine was severely injured by a drunk driver, who was uninsured, and has about 500k in medical bills over his head. It's been tied up in the courts for 3 years. I've since lost touch with him, but it's not pretty.
That shot into my mind as I initially wrote the first post, but out of respect re worded it to a single sentence.
If you can fly out, do it. If not, it's understandable. I would send a card, with sympathy flowers and/or fruit basket.
http://myfloristsympathy.com/blog/?cat=4
I truly lack the proper edict for these events, and would be lost without the guidance of professionals.
~Nate