It isn't so much false as it's a very poorly done copy and paste of PARTS of a three page column DB wrote for the Miami Herald. Some anonymous person with too much time on his hands clipped out the parts HE thought were funny, and then somewhere along the line out there in cyberland somebody else added on all that dopey list of things people supposedly said. NONE of that is part of the original column. Dave Barry didn't write that part. Here's the original, it's much funnier, but may be difficult for those who like to forward emails because it contains a lot of WORDS.

Dave Barry: A journey into my colon -- and yours - Dave Barry - MiamiHerald.com

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You're a daisy if you do.
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