Take a chill pill...

Here are some funny ones for you to enjoy.

The Obama economy has gotten so bad that we just have to find ways to make lemonade out of lemons. Then Obama will be able to raise taxes on lemons.

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Obama has finally balanced the budget. The national debt is now the same size as the economy.

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It’s a ‘recession’ when your neighbor loses his job; it’s a ‘depression’ when you lose yours; and it’s a ‘recovery’ when Barack Obama loses his.

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The Obama economy utilizes a system of carefully monitored checks and balances. He writes the checks, you pay the balance.

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Modern American Currency

One dollar bill: George Washington
Five dollar bill: Abraham Lincoln
Ten dollar bill: Alexander Hamilton
Twenty dollar bill: Andrew Jackson
Fifty dollar bill: Ulysses S. Grant
One hundred dollar bill: Benjamin Franklin
Food Stamps: Barack Obama

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obama christmas carol.mov - YouTube

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America once had Johnny Cash, Steve Jobs and Bob Hope. Now we have Barack Obama, no cash, no jobs and no hope.

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The good news is that Obama has finally created some jobs. The bad news is that they're all in India.

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Q. What's the difference between Obama opponents and Obama supporters?
A. The first group works for a living while the second group votes for a living.

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President Obama decided to do one of his public addresses against the backdrop of an American farm, but the ceremony couldn't get started because of all the flies buzzing around his head. Obama demanded to know why the flies wouldn't leave, so the farmer explained to him, "Well, those are called circle flies. They always circle around the back end of horses." Obama angrily replied, "Hey, are you saying that I'm a horse's ass?" The farmer answered, "No Sir, Mister President. I would never call someone a horse's ass. It's hard to fool them flies though."

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Working people frequently ask retired people what they do to make their days interesting. Well, for example, the other day I went downtown and into a shop. I was only there for about 5 minutes, and when I came out, there was a cop writing out a parking ticket. I said to him, 'Come on, man, how about giving a retired person a break'? He ignored me and continued writing the ticket. I called him a 'Nazi.' He glared at me and wrote another ticket for having worn tires. So I called him a 'doughnut eating Gestapo.' He finished the second ticket and put it on the windshield with the first. Then he wrote a third ticket. This went on for about 20 minutes. The more I abused him the more tickets he wrote. Personally, I didn't care. I came downtown on the bus, and the car that he was putting the tickets on had a bumper sticker that said, 'I ♥ Obama.' I try to have a little fun each day now that I'm retired. It's important to my health.



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