I don't have "pets". I do have 4 dauschunds who graciously allow me to fulfill their needs while not taking up too much of their reclining space, which curiously enough seems to be wherever I decide to sit.

They have managed to teach me a few simple commands such as, "Walk NOW", "scratch HERE NOW", "Food NOW", "Out" followed 8 seconds later by "IN". They are tremendously loyal and brave companions. Whenever "danger" threatens they will immediately find me and crowd around me protecting my back while furiously telling the danger what they think of it. Ain't nothing going to sneak up behind me while they're on the job!