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layback40 · #**770** 06-16-2012, 01:02 AM

The cat

You don`t have to own a cat to appreciate this one.

You don`t even have to like `em.

We were dressed and ready to go out for the New Year`s Eve party. We

turned on a night light, switched the answering machine on, covered our

pet parakeet and put the cat in the backyard.

We phoned the local cab company and requested a taxi. The car arrived

And we opened the front door to leave the house.

As we walked out of the door, the cat scoots back into the house. We

didn`t want the cat shut in the house because she always tries to eat the

bird.

My wife goes out to the taxi, while I went back inside to get the cat.

The cat runs upstairs, with me in hot pursuit. Waiting in the cab, my

wife doesn`t want the cab driver to know that the house will be empty for

the night.

So, she explains to the driver that I will be out soon, "He`s just going

upstairs to say goodbye to my mother."

A few minutes later, I get into the cab. "Sorry I took so long," I

Said as we drove away.

"That stupid ***** was hiding under the bed. I had to poke her arse

with a coathanger to make her come out! She tried to take off so I grabbed

her by the neck. Then, I had to wrap her in a blanket to keep her from

scratching me. But it worked! I hauled her fat arse down the stairs

and threw her out into the backyard! She`d better not sh i t in the

vegetable garden again!"

The silence in the cab was deafening!!