PeachParts Mercedes-Benz Forum - View Single Post

t walgamuth · #45 11-27-2012, 03:38 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by jplinville

My wife told me that we need to quickly clear out the rental I inherited when my dad passed away, so that my daughter can live there. I have great issue with this, because I think that giving today's young adults everything they need without them working for it is what's wrong with the country today.

I told her that it's a can of worms best left unopened, and that there's no way in hell that I'd GIVE her a place to live, rent free. I had to pay rent when I started out as an adult, and learned to work within my set budget...and that my daughter will need to do the same.

I'm willing to reach out and help financially, if needed, but I'm NOT giving her a house to live in for free.

I'm already putting out a chunk of coin each quarter to cover her college classes and books...

I will not offer specific things but suggest that you consider all alternatives carefully before making final decisions. Your long term relationship with your wife and daughter are important to you and your decisions now may impact the future very much, even perhaps the rest of your life. I would want to come to agreement with the wife particularly as you want your marriage to survive your childrens transition from dependent to independent.

I am a negotiator in my business dealings so have a couple of times come up with methods to deal with our kids problems in a positive way when the mrs. was ready to write the kids off and move on.

It is worth a lot of effort to optomize your situation for you, your wife and your daughter.....and of course your grandchild.

My daughter who got pregnant lived with us in a sort of basement apartment which we had fixed up for our son when he was in college. We coached her along and at our suggestion she did not give the child his fathers last name until they were married and refused to live with him until they were married as well. The ability to be indepenent from the child's father until the mother is in a secure situation is essential to your daughter being able to become independent from you later.

Until the father of our grandson married our daughter we treated the grandson as a part of our family, which he was as a practical matter.

Some of my friends like to spout off about what they would do if such and such happened but I always say to them "you don't know what you would do until it happens to you".