You know you’re getting old when you can’t stand people who are intolerant.
You know you’re getting old when a fortune teller offers to read your face
You know you're getting old when it takes too much effort to procrastinate.
You know you’re getting old when you regret all those mistakes resisting temptation.
You know you’re getting older when your pacemaker makes the garage door go up when you watch a pretty girl go by.

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"Our Lady of Blessed Acceleration...
don't Fail Us Now"