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davidmash · #1 04-05-2013, 01:19 PM

This came up else where and I started to ask folks at work and the limited results surprised me.

It started out with someone who seems to be fairly religious and he said in his home, he is the head of the house hold and this was accepted by his wife of 25 years +/- going in to the marriage and it works for them. Fine. So be it.

I must admit I am finding it impossible to wrap my head around that idea. I then asked Ms Mash who was the head of our house and she said I was. At that point you could have knocked me over with a feather. I found my self being quite upset with my self. I did not and do not view my self as HoH. I have always thought we lived in a equal house where no one has more of a say over the other. We argue about it and who ever has the better argument wins. I tend to be more logical and she tends to be more emotional so when it comes to matters of money .. I usually win.

Then I got to thinking that this HoH thing is a bit more involved than just a label. I wanted to know how I became the HoH in her eyes. It turns out it was by default/abdication rather than me demanding or expecting it. I take care of the finances and maintenance of the house, yard cars and what ever else because she does not want to do it so by that measure I am the HoH. I guess I am OK with that but I do wish she would take a greater interest in the financial side of things.

In terms of final say over what ever, I am not the HoH. We are both stubborn and we both argue about stuff and we both win our fair share (I think).

Another guy I work with said he is the HoH because that is how the bible says it should be. They talk thing out but if not compromise can be reached, he decides and that is that. I do not get that either but it works for them.

So, who is your HoH? Why? Does the HoH rule everything or is it only in certain areas?