I had similar problems with mine a few years ago. If I remember right, the connection that goes onto the turbo worked OK once I put a little Armor-all type stuff only on the side that touched the turbo. I did not put anything on the U tube itself so the rubber ring would not try to move.

The one on the air filter end would never cooperate. So I ended up using a very very light amount of silicone caulk on the U tube and placed the ring in the U-tube and let it dry. Once it was dry, I put Armor-all on the side of the ring that goes on the air cleaner and slid it on carefully and it worked. I have never removed it since then. If I need to remove the air cleaner I only remove the connection at the turbo. It has worked fine for many years now.

Hope this helps

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1984 300D 398K-daily driver
1998 Honda Accord 102K -wife's daily driver
1991 Volvo 740 289K
2000 Toyota Corolla 143K