Wow, thanks for the replies, guys! I found all of them constructive and positive in their own ways. I'll need some time to take it all in and give a meaningful reply back. Just had a long day and my mind was a bit preoccupied with my new mountain bike fork that arrived today. Seems to be leaking a bit of oil and trying to find out the seriousness of it. The fork is air but the component that controls compression and lockout uses oil...but anyway, I was just as excited about reading the comments to my post. For some reason I can't help feeling a bit nervous about this upcoming dinner because now I feel like I've put pressure on myself to do something and make things happen.
Jim B. mentioned bringing a gift. I've never thought about doing that with her. I gave her a good-bye gift, but nothing that suggested romance
Maybe I should. I better get to brainstorming because I only have a couple of days before we meet up. Flowers are out of the question, though I'd love to give them to her. They’re too...I dunno...suggestive. I like the idea of bringing a gift, but I don't know why I'm hesitant about doing it.
Regarding her status, she is not married, and I don't think she has ever married. I had thought about asking her if she's ever been married before on our last "date," but I wasn't sure if it was an appropriate question and so didn't bring it up. Would I be out of line for asking such a question? From what I can tell, she was single when we worked together and I'm sure she is still single now. In our conversations and e-mail correspondence, there's never been any mention of a man. All her friends seem to be female whenever a friend is mentioned. And yes, I’ve had my ears perked and my alpha male instincts kicked in whenever she mentioned a friend she visited or stayed with during a trip to the nether parts of California, wondering if it’s a male friend that may hint to me that she might have someone else in mind. No guy friends mentioned yet
I know her position at the org was very demanding, so I don't think it allowed her to have much of a social life. I think that's one reason she decided to retire early because she wanted to do and explore other things while she's still at the peak of her life. I don't think she has any kids only because she's never mentioned kids before, but then again I've never asked because I just don’t feel comfortable asking those questions primarily because I don't know how one goes about asking them without sounding too prying.
She and I are similar in many ways. For one she is a very private and reserve person, as am I. I bet many people from work don't know much about her personal life. She just doesn’t give much detail about her life to others from what I gather…and yet here she is going out with me, the very act itself is sharing a little bit about herself with me. Maybe I’m just reading too much into it.
It may seem all the signs are there for me to make my move, but I feel like this is new territory considering her age and life experience. A part of me is sort of waiting and wanting her to do something because, after all, she is (generally speaking) the proverbial older woman who knows what she wants. But what if she is old-fashioned and prefers that the guy make the first move? And what does this “make the first move” even mean anyway? Ah, it’s all back to high school! And speaking of which, one thing I find attractive about her is her sense of class and sophistication and yet there is this girlish charm about her. I like to think that maybe she has that butterfly feeling around me as I have when I’m around her.
I’ll get back to talk about some things people have mentioned, as it’s getting late and I my mind is fuzzy:
Age – that has never been an issue with me.
Money – retirement benefits? Hehe, nah… I don’t care for her money, and she’s not materialistic even though she made some serious bank.
Physical contact – she’s always offered a hug when we met and parted. I’m not much for initiating hugs, but maybe I should.
And aklims “he who hesitates…[well, you get the idea]”