Thanks for the update and interesting way to analyze noises.

Has the noise gotten louder since 2011? If not it is doubtful it is a rod bearing as it would have failed by now.

Doing the push test is what I do, have the piston down the bore about an inch as 30* crank angle seems to be where most crankshaft wear occurs. ( the crank is the other half of the bearing system )

These cars _might_ have a balance shaft, the problem might be there. I also remember someone posting that cam shaft magnets might making noise.