I doubt you hear the fan kick on - the fan is pulse width modulated and has quite some variable speeds, the only time Ive heard it was when I parked a hot car in a closed garage and then started it 10 minutes later, that fan was extra loud.

in normal operation the gauge sticks to 81C or 82C, sitting in traffic it will creep to 98C.

Anything above 105C and below 80C is not normal.

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2012 BMW X5 (Beef + Granite suspension model)

1995 E300D - The original humming machine (consumed by Flood 2017)
2000 E320 - The evolution (consumed by flood 2017)