Quote:
Originally Posted by t walgamuth
First ask if he wants your help.
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That is a point and something I've given a lot of thought to. He hasn't asked for help directly but he's spoken to my mother a lot about it and she's asked me. It's not like she's a full partner in his estate, there was some sort of pre-nup and I, not surprising, know none of the details.
This whole thing has really twisted my head around. I don't have a lot of respect for the gold-digging thing and don't want to fall into that lure. OTOH, it's not like my mother is Anna Nicole Smith here. He pursued her for over a year and like I said, they've known each other for 35+ years. I will admit that the thought of our family's estate suddenly swelling has occurred to me.
It is an oddly complicated thing. He bought the spread with his older brother (about 15 years older) around 1950. I'd need a flow chart to know who is descended from the older brother and who from his sister (I mispoke earlier, 2 siblings). If I were one of that crowd, I might think that some of the estate was due me.
However, my mom is now his wife and I'm the only son and oldest child. I'm more and more thinking I should get up there just to watch after her. She has stuck by me through all sorts of crap. I don't want to see her abused by this crowd.
Could be I'm overly worried. My SD has a lot of friends in that town (not Eugene, a small town nearby). At the reception were several good ol' boys, actual cow pokes who got their start in the cattle biz from him. Also the owner of the local Husqvarna dealership. None of these guys are shrinking violets.
I got off on a good start with them as I sang at the wedding in Oly and my mom asked me to sing a few of the same songs at the reception. As it was winding down, one of the younger nephews had asked if he could plunk on my guitar, which of course I said yes. As he was putting it down, my SD said 'play us a song.' He demurred, just didn't have the chops yet. I said, I got one, and played a Hank song which, God bless us all, Hank especially, went over pretty well. I do Hank. Did a few more. Was a great day for all of us IMO.
I'm certain my SD wants no violence involved in this. If he did, he'd have moved on it by now. Maybe he's being too soft on them, not sure. He apparently has a lot of money and is generous with it.