First.... you have more 'inner strength ' than most people. Two... you have more Good Luck and more Bad Luck than most people....and sometimes combined in one incident....
This is a serious and complicated set of questions you have asked... and there is no doubt about to be alot of opinions running the gamut thrown at you.... my condolences on that....
I suggest you print out your post and mail it to the Real Pros at Lyle AC in San Antonio... give them time to read and study the question, in other words... not a phone call ......
Sure, let the guys on this forum have their fun.... but believe the guys at Lyle... ( shades of " SNL " Arnold look alikes saying" hear me now and believe me later"....)
Regards,
Greg