Age 18, first car, bar hopping with a buddy of mine until 1 A.M. when we decided to drive 40 miles to the biggest city, a favorite place to go. Drunk as hell, I turned onto a "street" behind a greyhound bus station and got the frame hung up on the railroad tracks which activated the crossing guard and red flashing lights. In our drunken brilliance, we walked into the bus station to urinate, called a tow truck, and hit the candy machine for a few rolls of CERTS... knowing cops would be waiting for us.
In my best acting performance ever... I calmly told the officer I was new to the area (lie #1) and had driven to the bus station to pick up my buddy (lie #2), complaining that the "road" was dark I had no idea it was train tracks (lie #3)... and "no officer, we haven't been drinking" (lie #4) and that I had called a tow truck (that single act of sanity may have saved our asses, or mine for sure). Must have been oscar worthy as he let us go after the truck freed my car.
Still drunker than a sailor, I couldn't find my way out of a familiar place, so we parked and went to sleep. When the sun woke us up we were 1/2 block from the freeway entrance.

I never drove fully snockered again, just half snockered. I figured if I could recall that experience totally wasted, well driving half wasted is something I could manage and do well. We each have different tolerances, and mine allows me to safely drive after 2 or 3 beers.

__________________
One day the greater consciousness of humanity will ask of itself... "How many Einsteins and savants did we destroy to satisfy the wants of women in their lawful genocide upon the unborn?"