I think you're seeing bogeymen under the woodpile there.

I somehow landed in a situation where I feel semi-stuck in the Bay Area. I want to stay for a number of reasons, but all my family is in Washington state. So for the last maybe 18 to 20 years, I drive up mostly on I-5 to visit a couple times a year, getting riders on craigslist rideshare as frequently as possible. That got beat up a little bit during Covid but it's coming back. With three people in the car, it's less carbon per passenger mile than flying. It takes longer, but I have my vehicle up there, save about $500 bucks or more on car rental. With two riders I frequently pay next to nothing for gas.

I've not had a single issue issue remotely like you describe. I've met some interesting people on the rideshares however.

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Te futueo et caballum tuum

1986 300SDL, 362K
1984 300D, 138K