JCE -

I may have misunderstood what you wrote. I have to disagree mildly. I have a good friend struggling with this very issue at the moment. He has problems in his marriage and had an affair. He is obviously confused, screwed up and totally wrong and perhaps in that emotional state he can't be trusted. However, he has been a good friend for many years and as he has been I at least owe it to him to do what I can to see that he either gets the help he needs or modifies his behavior.

If he messes up with me, then I can't trust him, but he hasn't so far. He's abused the trust of his spouse and his children, but so far hasn't abused mine. Until he does, I think I should give him the benefit of the doubt.

Adultery is an ugly business for sure; it's a very complicated business and there is a lot of room for confusion and misdirection. While the chance exists that one who abuses the trust of his spouse might also abuse the trust of a friend, that's not necessarily a foregone conclusion and until proven otherwise, I prefer to give a friend the chance to remain my friend.

Doesn't mean I didn't give him a verbal lashing for being a screw-up, but I can't just abandon him for being human.

__________________
David

His:
2003 Dodge Durango SLT
2002 BMW E39 530i Sport
1988 Mercedes 300TE
Hers:
2003 Chevrolet Suburban
1999 E430