To be very honest, I'm trying to focus on work. If I don't keep working I'll be unemployeed and heartbroken. I have to say, it is extremely hard. I worked hard to try and make a good life for my wife and someday, or kids. Doesn't seem much point at this stage in the game, but I have to keep going.

Everytime the telephone rings, I hope it is her. Last night and old friend of mine stopped by, the door bell rang, you had to see me run to the door, I was happy to see my friend, but I prayed it would be her.

Everyone has been very supportive, and I know things happen for a reason. I'm on my second day of not reaching out to her and it is hard as can be. I would do anything to hear her voice, anything for a chance to talk to her. I know I can't control what she does next, so I can't get sicker over it. Coughing up blood, not eating, and not sleeping is about as bad as it gets.

I only wish she would reach out to me somehow, just something to say that she's ok -- and that she's happy... as crazy as it seems, I really really really pray that she's not feeling the way I am. One of the two of us feeling this way is already one too many.

Thanks again everyone.