Quote:
Originally posted by GermanStar
I may not know the details that led to your current dilemma, but I do know 2 things with certainty. First, you need to stop attempting to contact her -- she knows your situation, and this isn't helping one bit. Secondly, you need to do anything and everything you can to emotionally distance yourself from her -- I know -- easier said than done. You've already made it crystal clear that the fate of your relationship is entirely in her hands. You're not helping your situation by giving her that power. Claim some or all of that power for yourself. After all, it's YOUR life, not her's. It could be that claiming that power is the best chance you have for this to work out.
Ron
http://germanstar.net
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I totally agree with the message above.
First of all I am writing because you remind me of myself when I was much younger. I had a failed relationship that I had in college, where I was totally despondent over the girl no longer being available to me and I was consumed with the things that I thought that I had done wrong to cause that to happen. In hindsight the misery I inflicted on myself from the selfblaming was what I really regret. Short of you being a total Ahole to her and her family (which I rather doubt) people pretty much do what they want to do. The question I would ask is would you have left the relationship if she was behaving as you did. My guess is that you wouldn't have. Best friends try to make it work. No doubt you made mistakes in the relationship. Everybody does. Let me say that again everybody makes mistakes in relationships. The healthy relationships survive and grow from those mistakes.
Your loss is very real and as many have commented now is the time to be really good to yourself rather than blame yourself for things that you potentially had no control over. I truely wish you the best.