First off, my parents used both methods, we were told twice and if it got that far, then the "Board of Education" came out. My sister still has the "Board". I don't in any way feel like I was an abused child because I was taught to respect authority. I have never been arrested nor have gotten into any serious trouble. I have raised my children in a similar manner, getting many good compliments on them by their teachers as well as friends of mine.

I have had the unique opportunity of being a school bus driver and many, but not all, of the children who were "talked to" were the most unruly, rude, disrespectful bunch of brats I ever had the "pleasure" of knowing. For them "talking to" seemed to work after a while IF they wanted to get home, I was very picky about them following the rules for their safety. Also after a period of time I gained respect out of most all of my "Lil Darlin's" because they knew that when I told them to do something I expected it to be carried out. As a result, I also gained the respect of most of their parents as well for being so safety conscious.

The bottom line here, IMHO, is that both methods can work if applied consistently with parents not caving in because they don't want to "scar them for life" by warming their childs britches when needed.

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1991 300SE (my ride, 279,000 miles, looks almost new
1954 Cadillac (21 yo son's car, he bought when age 15)
1972 SeaBird 19 ft runabout (old but solid, slant six, Volvo sterndrive perfect condition, undergoing complete overhaul and refit)
1998 Toyota Rav4 (my sons daily driver when he is in the Continental US, PROUDLY serving in US Navy)