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Behaviour management of children can be done effectively using non-physical methods. However, I think it is up to each parent, and there is no "right" or "wrong."
I would never hit my child. It's just our way. It takes a lot of effort to use consequences effectively and stick with it. It's okay to restrain your child if they get out of control and might hurt themselves, but I don't hit.
My own daughter wishes we spanked. It's over in seconds. She despises consequences. They last a long time and there is a great deal of conversation that goes along with it.
Why is so hard? Well, you've got to follow through EVERY time. NEVER threaten. It's a foolish tactic and never works on any circumstance, especially with children. They're durned smart. As an example, my daughter would throw a tantrum at the store if she didn't get her way. We had to leave the store immediately and go home. This meant a big inconvienance for me too. I didn't get the shopping finished and wasted tons of time. But, that's the way it is. Give in, and they cotton on to the pattern. It works. She is very well behaved, most of the time. But, she's bright and figures things out pretty durned quick, so we have to be on top of it.
The job of the parent is to ensure the child listens. This can be a real struggle (geez, there's a theme here, eh?) but can be done. Sometimes, it means nothing more than time for them to calm down.
If a child does something outrageous that is potentially physically harmful to a family member, this must be dealt with immediately and effectively.
Truth be told, and sorry to say it, but in a case where a child uses such extreme behaviour, it's usually a case of the parent being inconsistent over a long period of time. Unless the child has something really wrong with them.
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