Here's Ork's opinion on stripper chicks, applying to at least 90% of the stripping population.

1. Nice bodies from about 5 feet away. Messed up faces, too much rough livin'; drugs, physical abuse and "I'm not really a plastic surgeon" butcher jobs.

2. There is usually something wrong or out of place with the symmetry of their faces. Everything looks great, but the nose is way too big, or there's somethig weird about the eyes, the lines around the mouth, you know what I mean. Check them out if you ever have go back.

3. Always in drama, always screwed up over something. Car won't start, got in a wreck, another DUI, another possession charge, another "unexpected preganancy", "boyfriend" in rehab again, "wanna-be rock star boyfriend" (probably looks like a cross between Steven Seagal and Kris Kristoferson) back in anger management classes, infections from cheap tatoos, new boyfriend they just met in group therapy "has issues", surprisingly...

I'll give you a bonus if any of those chicks have C-section scars!

Hate to sound mean, I don't go to strip clubs. I have, however, encountered many strippers off premise, and its amazing how the demographic is so consistent. I'm not saying it isn't sad, though.