"She bet me $50 she had a better body than you and I had to defend your honor!"
"What a bunch of bull***** I have a much better body than she does!!!!"

"How's your wife and my kids?"

"juuuuuuuuust a bit outside"

And the best one:
"By the way, I saw your wife at the club the other night, great little dancer, I'm sure you're very proud, and that guy she was with? I'm sure he's close personal friend and all, but tell me, what was he doing wearing her panties on his head?"