Do insults have to be about other people? How about the following from the late, great Rodney Dangerfield:

"I don't get no respect. When I was born I was so ugly the doctor slapped my mother."

"I don't get no respect. I was in a bar and a guy asked me if I had any naked pictures of my wife. I said, 'No.' He asked me if I wanted to buy some."

Well with girls I don't get no respect. I had a blind date. I waited two hours on the corner. A girl walked by. I said "Are you Louise?" She said, "Are you Rodney?" I said, "Yeah." She said, "I'm not Louise."

Do those count as insults?