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Veloce300DT · #15 02-22-2005, 08:39 PM

as cscmc1 mentioned, there could be many other more addictive, and much more dangerous drugs your son could have been using.

4 years ago, pot was like alcohol. Present at every single party, in every single social group. Howwever, coke was nearly right up there, popular among many kids. And 5 years later, its stronger than ever... I circle in older crowds now, consisting of college students and people embarking on life after college- people starting businesses etc. Coke is rampant EVERYWHERE.... from the expected "high class" party to the trashy bar bathrrom, to the highschool and junior high parties.

If I were facing the issue of pot with a son or daughter, id definitely put my foot down. However, Id feel somewhat relieved that I wasnt dealing with a coked out kid or worse..... I see this as a time to re-establish the boundaries with your son, the rules, and the privledges. But it is also CRUCIAL that you dont push him away-

Military schoool may work for many people, but I have had numerous friends that had horrifyiong experiences.. not because of the discipline, but from abuse. Im not sure how big of a problem it is, but there seems to be a very high rate of abuse in youth detention facilities and military schools that crosses the line between strict and sometimes unpleasant discipline and flat out abuse of power. A good friend of mine was being physically abused in military school- he would write home telling his parents of what was happening. Most of the time, the letters never arrived.... He now is a much different person. Hes highly irritable, depressed, uses drugs, and is VERY tempermental. After his return home i found he was a hard person to be friends with. We still keep in touch however. 4 othher friends of mine between JR. High and H.S. had similar experiences in disciplinary school.

Another friend of mine had a very hard time maintaining a relationship bewteen himself and his parents. He was and is an exceelnt kid, very bright, very intellegent, and always pulled exemplary grades. However, from what he would tell me and what i observed about his parents was 100% true. They tried to control him in every way.. to the point that it was smothering him. They didnt take the time to listen to him, or actually hear what he was saying... he neeeded them to back off. they were very high pressure parents whom cared tremendously about him, but were a bit over-bearing, and rather ambitious about "his" goals rather than what his goals actually were. They were the perfect example of parents who tried to raise their son into somthing they wanted him to be, disregarding everything he wanted and had a passion for. Needless to say, he rebelled. He found drugs, would run away for days, his grades dropped, and his parents became volatiile. I lost touch with him after I became the 3rd wheel between him and his parents. I couldnt handle his parents irrationalities, and I couldnt handle seeing my friend F*#@ up his life.. regardless of any "interventions" that were tried bewteen me and my friends at the time or his helpless parennts. He eventuually went to re-hab and I havent heard anything more.

More recently, my family found out a distant cousin of mine put herself into re-hab. We dont really keep in touch with this part of the family. And I must say that theyre quite disfunctional. At any rate, we thought my cousin was doing fine.. she was awarded for being in the top ten percentile of her class in GPA, she was on the basketball team, swim team, and had a great head on her shoulders. However, her parents were absent from her life... they had their own problems. She seemed like the girl that was passionate about doing her best and getting away from her parents and building her own more successful life. Turns out her boyfriend got her into drugs, and she had found herself trafficking hard drugs into her town and school...... whhich is still shhocking to this day. Since this happend shhes made a 100% turn around, but it goes to show that drug abuse isnt limited to a certain social group, personality, or place, which can often tiimes be forgotten by parents, wether they are present in their kids life or not.

My point being is that I thhink it is HIGHLY IMPORTANT that a parent maintains a BALANCE in their methods of discipline.... not enough can lead to negative affects, and too much in various ways can lead a child down the same path.