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Originally Posted by Plantman
Like I said to him today, he can smoke all the pot he wants when he turns 18 and decides to move out on his own. Until then, he needs to realize that he has got to stay out of trouble.
Do you think it's normal to think " I don't want to be here" when you get caught?
I remember getting in trouble and saying, $hit, I better not do this again, but never suicide.  |
I was lucky (or unlucky) enough never to get caught.
People take drugs for a wide range of reasons. And the reasons may change over time due to circumstances. Most of my use was recreational. I preferred psychodelics and amphetamines, so I can tell you about them (or what I remember...). I never much appreciated barbiturates, narcotics and cocaine. I guess I enjoyed the introspection available to psychospelunkers, which the barbiturate and narcotics people seemed to want to avoid, even at the peril of losing their lives. Marijuana was just for fun and play. At least to me. When I quit smoking that crap it was nothing and I still don't really care one way or the other. Later I found quitting tobacco was far, far more difficult. I still want a cigarette occasionally and I quit coffin nails nearly 25 years ago. I haven't smoked dope since I quit and really don't care.
Like somebody previously mentioned (Carleton? Hatterasguy?) there have been lots of folks along the way who drifted-off into a eddy in life where they never did anything and didn't much care. To me, that's sort of like a little death, to become so anesthetized to life that you don't care about much except a buzz and something to eat.
From the sound of it, your boy is more of the recreational/social pressure type. He's probably lucky he got busted, but you have to figure-out a way to reassure him that you still love him and its disappointment, not hatred that you are expressing. He's just a kid and he needs a pathway for his behavior. The one he was on was bad but he doesn't see a more rewarding one yet. If all you offer is guilt and punishment, he may associate that with the path you want him to follow. So somehow you're going to have to temper your demand that he conform to house rules (which you cannot compromise) with a reassurance that he is loved and appreciated.
Being the adult and parent is a never-ending pain in the a$$. My Mother just had her birthday recently, nearly ninety years old and she says she still worries about her children. Great, huh? This is what you and I have to look forward to: a lifetime of angst over our kids. Hang in there.
Best wishes Plantman,
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