Stop writing 's and laughing at me!

I'm not lifting the car any farther than it is now. I have a serious phobia about lifting a car, and an even bigger one regarding working under a car that is on jack stands.

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1982 240D.
My name is Michael, and I am an 18 year old binge-drinkin', cigar-smokin', novel-writin', all around unsavory and unnattractive guy. I tell long-winded stories, and I only shave once a week, although I've had to do it every day since I was 16.