Money to Relatives - Page 2 - PeachParts Mercedes-Benz Forum

Pharo51 · #16 01-02-2005, 10:49 PM

I "lent" my cousin 500 dollars 2 years ago hes yet to pay me back even after a 30,000 dollar insurance check was given to him for an auto accident.

JenTay · #17 01-03-2005, 10:21 AM

well, I decided to 'donate' $100. of course she initially wanted more.

i gave her the money with no strings attached. no loan to pay back. however, i made it specifically clear that i am totally against mixing money and family. i live on a budget and had to 'cut' something for the month to accomodate her. i said that for the 'guilt' effect.

the last time we were together, she bought herself a new dress and a pair of expensive boots for New Years. I mean *****, i've been wearing the same crap for years. I just rotate, and mix and match for variety.

although, i am in school. i'm not rich, but i am certainly not poor. i am genuinely scared for people who seem so myopic about money.

Jason Beal · #18 01-03-2005, 02:17 PM

[QUOTE=JenTay]What is your philosophy about lending or giving money to relatives who ask?

Moreover, what if the relative is clearly broke......but continues to shop as if there is money. Clearly, there is a priority issue here. Is it my place to point it out?

QUOTE]

IMO if they are going to ask for money, then you have the right to point out their lack of priorities. Maybe it will help them in the long run, even if it ticks them off at first.

kott · #19 01-03-2005, 02:49 PM

Each of us could probably chip in $10 for a 'birthday present' to offset your benevolence.... you'd probably clear $100-$150 for the exercise.

You'll probably not hear from her again. 1) You actually ponied up some dough. 2) But not much 3) Good guilt attachment

At least make her mow your yard or something, for the effort.....

neanderthal · #20 01-03-2005, 05:57 PM

if she asks you for more money, ask her when she is going to pay you the $100 you gave her last time.

if she says "i thought you gave that to me" you reply by telling her that she had asked you to lend it to her, not asked you to give it her. and that you took her at her word that she was borrowing it.

is she persists in saying "you said you were giving it to me" you counter with "thats becasue i didnt expect to get it back. i havent got it back, even though you said you were borrowing it. so why should i lend you more now?"

above all, please dont become a doormat for your relative.

G-Benz · #21 01-04-2005, 05:02 PM

How about "bailouts" versus loans?

I once remortgaged our home to obtain money in order to satisfy a loan in default taken out by an irresponsible relative and co-signed by an elderly relative, who would have probably lost her home if the bank pursued her for payment!

The same relative came to live with us, and expected free use of the vehicles, phone services, and food without recourse or services rendered. When he left, I had given him the car he used most often, and he subsequently sold it when he couldn't keep it in good repair!

I didn't expect repayment of anything, but did caution him on his financial freefall. He is now married to a spendthrift wife, so I believe he is getting his just dues anyway!