Why won't cannibals eat divorced women?
They're very bitter.

Why do cannibals prefer eating readers to writers?
Because writers cramp but readers digest.

What did the cannibal do after he had dumped his girlfriend?
Wiped his ass.

Did you hear about the cannibal who passed his uncle in the woods?

Two cannibals just finished a big meal and one turns to the other while rubbing his stomach with his fist and say, "You know, I just ate my mother-in-law, and she still doesn't agree with me!"

Two cannibals are eating a clown. One says to the other, "Does this taste funny to you?"

When do cannibals leave the table?
When everyone's eaten.

The first cannibal asked the 2nd cannibal, "Aren't you done eating yet?" The 2nd cannibal replied, "I'm on my last leg now."

Did you hear about the cannibal who loved fast food?
He ordered a pizza with everybody on it.

One cannibal to another: I never met a man I didn't like!

What is a cannibal's favorite type of TV show?
A celebrity roast.

Have you heard about the cannibal restaurant?
Dinner costs an arm and a leg.

Where do cannibals shop for fine furniture?
Eatin' Allen's.

What do cannibals eat for dessert?
Chocolate covered aunts.

What is a cannibal's favorite game?
Swallow the leader.

What do cannibals make out of politicians?
Bologna sandwiches.

What did the cannibal get when he was late for dinner?
The cold shoulder.

A man gets captured by cannibals and every day they poke him with spears and use his blood to wash down their food. Finally the guy calls the chief over and says, "You can kill me or you can eat me, but I'm tired of getting stuck for drinks."

Did you hear about the cannibal who was expelled from school for buttering up his teacher?

Two cannibals were sitting by a fire. The first says, "Gee, I hate my mother-in-law." The 2nd replies, "So, try the potatoes.

Cannibal's recipe book: How to Serve Your Fellow Man.


A cannibal visited his neighbor to admire his new refrigerator. "What is the storage capacity?" the man asked.

"I'm not exactly sure," the neighbor replied. "But it at least holds the two men that brought it."

A tourist goes to Africa and asks his tourist guide while walking in the jungle, "Are we safe here? Aren't there cannibals around here?"

And the tourist guide says, "Yes. You can be sure there is no cannibals in Africa."

And the tourist says, "But there may be still some cannibals."

And the tourist guide says, "No, rest assured. We ate the last one last Monday."

Two cannibals meet one day. The first cannibal says, "You know, I just can't seem to get a tender Missionary. I've baked them, I've roasted them, I've stewed them, I've barbecued them, I've tried every sort of marinade. I just can't seem to get them tender."

The second cannibal asks, "What kind of Missionary do you use?"

The other replied, "You know, the ones that hang out at that place at the bend of the river. They have those brown cloaks with a rope around the waist and they're sort of bald on top with a funny ring of hair on their heads."

"Ah, ha!" the second cannibal replies. "No wonder ... those are FRIARS!"

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I'm not sure I buy it either. At best, pain is a necessary but not sufficient condition for morality.

__________________
1977 300d 70k--sold 08
1985 300TD 185k+
1984 307d 126k--sold 8/03
1985 409d 65k--sold 06
1984 300SD 315k--daughter's car
1979 300SD 122k--sold 2/11
1999 Fuso FG Expedition Camper
1993 GMC Sierra 6.5 TD 4x4
1982 Bluebird Wanderlodge CAT 3208--Sold 2/13

Hahaa ... Friars.


I liked when Seinfeld was wondering what Cannibals talk about during dinner.



"This is good ...... who is this?"

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'87 300SDL

dieselbenz

The Buddhists kinda lower the 'expectation of happiness' bar right away,
with their tenet:

Existance is suffering.

I guess they feel that you have to accept and get past that,
to achieve any real contentment?

It's kinda true though...
Most men lead lives of quiet desperation.

__________________
'87 300SDL

dieselbenz

Why does everything have to have a deep meaning or be about big issues. We just did the whole animal rights thing in etthics class. My position is stop thinking and enjoy the steak.

mmmm thats good pass the veal please...

__________________
2016 Corvette Stingray 2LT
1969 280SE
2023 Ram 1500
2007 Tiara 3200

I've always liked breasts and thighs.

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Jim

I'm not sure how this plays into it, but I think it does.

I had an opportunity recently to smell dead people in various stages of decomposition over a period of a couple of weeks. It was the most completely repellant aroma I have ever smelled. I never got accustomed to it, as most of us become accustomed to unpleasant smells in a few hours or a day. It was so distinctive it was like I had a nose radar. I could smell a swollen, dead human and differentiate it from dead animals from a block away. Even if the body was inside of an attic. I don't know why. I can tell you that right now and unto the end of my life I will never forget it.

Bot

I don't know if I'd be able to view that as an opportunity?

__________________
'87 300SDL

dieselbenz

you sure about that? here is a little reality check that should knock you down a rung or two..

__________________
72 W114/M130

RedMeat cartoon

I smelled dead human once too and I agree Bot that it is a smell that definately lingers and one that you will never forget. The time I smelled it the person was a murder victim where the body hadn't been found for three weeks. After the police barricade came down I had to help remove personal possessions for the family. I almost lost my dinner.

__________________
1983 300-D turbo
1985 300-D turbo
1959 Harley Panhead chopper
1929 Ford coupe restored
I hang out with Boneheaddoctor at Schuman Automotive OBK#5
All liberals are mattoids but not all mattoids are liberal.

No thumb? No problem.

B

Two chefs were caught by cannibals and put into a pot of water. As the cannibals lit the fire, one chef whispers to the other, "I think we got them now."

The other chef says "yeah, I think they forgot to salt the water."

__________________
You don't need a weatherman to know which way the wind blows - Robert A. Zimmerman

Soup with nuts?

Bot

I already killed one of those ba$tards. He's made into a rug and is resting peacefully for eternity on my wall. While I on the other hand am alive, breathing, and eating meat. That makes me top dog.

__________________
1983 300-D turbo
1985 300-D turbo
1959 Harley Panhead chopper
1929 Ford coupe restored
I hang out with Boneheaddoctor at Schuman Automotive OBK#5
All liberals are mattoids but not all mattoids are liberal.

nah, this is being on top of the food chain

__________________
72 W114/M130

RedMeat cartoon