Seems like you see a story like this once or twice a year. None of these cats have ever looked at a firplace damper and flu arrangement, I guess.
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HAYWARD

Naked man gets stuck in chimney

Demian Bulwa, Chronicle Staff Writer
Monday, April 24, 2006

Locked out of his stepmother's home, a 23-year-old man tried to slide down the chimney like St. Nick, except without any presents -- or clothes.

Or success, according to police, who weren't in a festive mood after they spent an hour pushing the naked man back up early Saturday.

Michael Urbano, who made it 75 percent of the way down the single-story home's chimney, was treated for minor injuries and arrested on suspicion of being high on drugs, Hayward police Lt. Gary Branson said Sunday.

It all began at about 2:30 a.m. Saturday, Branson said, when Urbano returned from bar-hopping to the Cliffwood Avenue house where he was staying. No one was home, and he didn't have a key, so he climbed to the roof.

What happened next offers a cautionary tale for burglars and an homage to the unblemished career of Kriss Kringle.

Urbano disconnected a cable-television wire on the roof, then disrobed -- he claimed his clothes would have impeded his descent -- and began rappelling down the chimney, Branson said.

The cable snapped, sending Urbano into a free fall until he got wedged inside the chimney, where he stayed for four hours.

His muffled calls for help finally prompted a neighbor to phone police about 6:30 a.m.

Responding officers scoured the area before they noticed the chimney's spark arrester had been disconnected. After climbing the roof, they spotted Urbano.

Then the difficult work began.

First, said Branson, an officer was held at the ankles and lowered headfirst into the breach, but found nothing to grab hold of because Urbano's arms were pinned.

Finally an officer lay on his back in the fireplace -- where Urbano's clothing was found -- and used his feet to push Urbano into the dawn air.

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Te futueo et caballum tuum

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