Sliding down the chimney always worked for Santa - PeachParts Mercedes-Benz Forum

cmac2012 · #1 04-24-2006, 03:48 PM

Seems like you see a story like this once or twice a year. None of these cats have ever looked at a firplace damper and flu arrangement, I guess.

________________________________________
HAYWARD

Naked man gets stuck in chimney

Demian Bulwa, Chronicle Staff Writer
Monday, April 24, 2006

Locked out of his stepmother's home, a 23-year-old man tried to slide down the chimney like St. Nick, except without any presents -- or clothes.

Or success, according to police, who weren't in a festive mood after they spent an hour pushing the naked man back up early Saturday.

Michael Urbano, who made it 75 percent of the way down the single-story home's chimney, was treated for minor injuries and arrested on suspicion of being high on drugs, Hayward police Lt. Gary Branson said Sunday.

It all began at about 2:30 a.m. Saturday, Branson said, when Urbano returned from bar-hopping to the Cliffwood Avenue house where he was staying. No one was home, and he didn't have a key, so he climbed to the roof.

What happened next offers a cautionary tale for burglars and an homage to the unblemished career of Kriss Kringle.

Urbano disconnected a cable-television wire on the roof, then disrobed -- he claimed his clothes would have impeded his descent -- and began rappelling down the chimney, Branson said.

The cable snapped, sending Urbano into a free fall until he got wedged inside the chimney, where he stayed for four hours.

His muffled calls for help finally prompted a neighbor to phone police about 6:30 a.m.

Responding officers scoured the area before they noticed the chimney's spark arrester had been disconnected. After climbing the roof, they spotted Urbano.

Then the difficult work began.

First, said Branson, an officer was held at the ankles and lowered headfirst into the breach, but found nothing to grab hold of because Urbano's arms were pinned.

Finally an officer lay on his back in the fireplace -- where Urbano's clothing was found -- and used his feet to push Urbano into the dawn air.

aklim · #2 04-24-2006, 09:07 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by cmac2012

First, said Branson, an officer was held at the ankles and lowered headfirst into the breach, but found nothing to grab hold of because Urbano's arms were pinned.

Could have lowered a rope around his neck and pulled him out or tie a rope to his dong and pulled him down.

iwrock · #3 04-24-2006, 09:10 PM

Only in California.

boneheaddoctor · #4 04-24-2006, 10:19 PM

I think these sort of criminals MUST be trying to get the Darwin award on purpose.

Brian Carlton · #5 04-24-2006, 10:26 PM

where's your sign.........??

#6 04-25-2006, 02:00 AM

I wonder if the excitement is what hung him up.

cmac2012 · #7 04-25-2006, 02:15 PM

At least this guy was trying to break into his own home or his family's home, anyway.

Some guy in Lake Tahoe a year or two ago tried to break in and rob a vacation home with the same chimney trick. Got jammed in so bad, they had to take out considerable brickage to get him out.

Never did read who had to pay for that. I can imagine the perp being penniless and surely the cops are not required to pay for it, though I could see the city perhaps springing for it. Could you imagine being the homeowner stuck with that crap?!

Mistress · #8 04-26-2006, 04:39 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by boneheaddoctor

I think these sort of criminals MUST be trying to get the Darwin award on purpose.

BHD- They have to had died during the commission of said act in order to receive this most coveted award, but I heard P.T. Barnum and Bailey offered this guy a job.

cmac2012 · #9 04-26-2006, 05:12 PM

As clownish as these guys are, can you imagine the opportunity they had to pause and reflect on the folly of their ways?

God, being trapped in a creosote coated chimney, arms trapped, able only to yell for help. I can barely imagine what it must feel like to finally be released from such bondage. The guy I mentioned in the Lake Tahoe story was damned lucky he didn't die of thirst and exposure in that chimney.