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#1
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The Guys' Rules - Humour
>The Guys' Rules
>At last a guy has taken the time to write this all down Finally, the >guys' side of the story. >(I must admit, it's pretty good.) >We always hear "the rules" >From the female side. >Now here are the rules from the male side. >These are our rules! >Please note.. these are all numbered "1" >ON PURPOSE! > >___________________________________ > > 1. Men ARE not mind readers. > > 1. Learn to work the toilet seat. >You're a big girl. If it's up, put it down. >We need it up, you need it down. >You don't hear us complaining about you leaving it down. > > 1. Sunday sports. It's like the full moon >or the changing of the tides. >Let it be. > > 1. Shopping is NOT a sport. >And no, we are never going to think of it that way. > > 1. Crying is blackmail. > > 1. Ask for what you want. >Let us be clear on this one: >Subtle hints do not work! >Strong hints do not work! >Obvious hints do not work! >Just say it! > > 1. Yes and No are perfectly Acceptable answers to almost every question. > > 1. Come to us with a problem only If you want help solving it. That's >what we do. >Sympathy is what your girlfriends are for. > > 1. A headache that lasts for 17 months is a problem. See a doctor. > > 1. Anything we said 6 months ago is inadmissible in an argument. >In fact, all comments become null and void after 7 Days. > >1. If you won't dress like the Victoria's Secret girls, don't Expect us >to act like soap opera guys. > >1. If you think you're fat, you probably are. >Don't ask us. > >1. If something we said can be interpreted two ways and one of the ways >makes you sad or angry, we meant the other one . > >1. You can either ask us to do something >Or tell us how you want it done. >Not both. >If you already know best how to do it, just do it yourself. > >1. Whenever possible, Please say whatever you have to say during >commercials. > >1. Christopher Columbus did NOT need directions and neither do we. > >1. ALL men see in only 16 colors, like Windows default settings. >Peach, for example, is a fruit, not A color. Pumpkin is also a fruit. We >have no idea what mauve is. > >1. If it itches, it will Be scratched. >We do that. > > 1. If we ask what is wrong and you say "nothing," We will act like >nothing's wrong. >We know you are lying, but it is just not worth the hassle. > >1. If you ask a question you don't want an answer to, Expect an answer >you don't want to hear. > >1. When we have to go somewhere, absolutely anything you wear Is fine... >Really. > >1. Don't ask us what we're thinking about unless you are prepared to >discuss such topics as baseball, the shotgun formation, >or golf. > >1. You have enough clothes. > > 1. You have too many shoes. > >1. I am in shape. Round IS a shape! > 1. Thank you for reading this. >Yes, I know, I have to sleep on the couch tonight; but did you know men >really don't mind that? It's like camping. > >Pass this on to as many men as you can, >to give them a laugh. > >Pass this on to as many women as you can, to give them a bigger laugh > |
#2
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Rules I can finally live with, thanks.
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