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  #1  
Old 10-02-2006, 03:45 PM
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Economics Systems Around the World

Here's a great explanation of the various economic and political systems in the world today:
BOVINE POLITICS

A CHRISTIAN DEMOCRAT: You have two cows. You keep one and give one to your
neighbor.

A SOCIALIST: You have two cows. The government takes one and gives it to your
neighbor.

AN AMERICAN REPUBLICAN: You have two cows. Your neighbor has none. So what?

AN AMERICAN DEMOCRAT: You have two cows. Your neighbor has none. You feel
guilty for being successful. You vote people into office who tax your cows,
forcing you to sell one to raise money to pay the tax. The people you voted for
then take the tax money and buy a cow and give it to your neighbor. You feel
righteous.

A COMMUNIST: You have two cows. The government seizes both and provides you
with milk.

A FASCIST: You have two cows. The government seizes both and sells you the
milk. You join the underground and start a campaign of sabotage.

DEMOCRACY, AMERICAN STYLE: You have two cows. The government taxes you to the point you have to sell both to support a man in a foreign country who has only one cow, which was a gift from your government.

CAPITALISM, AMERICAN STYLE: You have two cows. You sell one, buy a bull, and
build a herd of cows.

BUREAUCRACY, AMERICAN STYLE: You have two cows. The government takes them both, shoots one, milks the other, pays you for the milk, then pours the milk down the drain.

AN AMERICAN CORPORATION: You have two cows. You sell one, and force the other to produce the milk of four cows. You are surprised when the cow drops dead.

A FRENCH CORPORATION: You have two cows. You go on strike because you want
three cows.

A JAPANESE CORPORATION: You have two cows. You redesign them so they are one-tenth the size of an ordinary cow and produce twenty times the milk. You then
create clever cow cartoon images called Cowkimon and market them World-Wide.

A GERMAN CORPORATION: You have two cows. You reengineer them so they live for 100 years, eat once a month, and milk themselves.

A BRITISH CORPORATION: You have two cows. They are mad. They die. Pass the
shepherd's pie, please.

AN ITALIAN CORPORATION: You have two cows, but you don't know where they are. You break for lunch.

A RUSSIAN CORPORATION: You have two cows. You count them and learn you have five cows. You count them again and learn you have 42 cows. You count them
again and learn you have 12 cows. You stop counting cows and open another
bottle of vodka.

A SWISS CORPORATION: You have 5000 cows, none of which belong to you. You
charge others for storing them.

A BRAZILIAN CORPORATION: You have two cows. You enter into a partnership with an American corporation. Soon you have 1000 cows and the American corporation declares bankruptcy.

AN INDIAN CORPORATION: You have two cows. You worship both of them.

A CHINESE CORPORATION: You have two cows. You have 300 people milking them. You claim full employment, high bovine productivity, and arrest the newsman who reported on them.

AN ISRAELI CORPORATION: There are these two Jewish cows, right? They open a milk factory, an ice cream store, and then sell the movie rights. They send
their calves to Harvard to become doctors. So, who needs people?

AN ARKANSAS CORPORATION: You have two cows. That one on the left is kinda cute.

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  #2  
Old 10-02-2006, 03:53 PM
kamil's Avatar
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Location: North Jersey
Posts: 1,310
I finally found this again...I read this about 2 years ago and it even had pictures to accompany each one.

Nice find.

By the way, everybody check out my infraction when you click into my name. I kind of like it...too bad it goes away in December
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  #3  
Old 10-02-2006, 03:56 PM
TheDon's Avatar
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Quote:
Originally Posted by kamil View Post
I finally found this again...I read this about 2 years ago and it even had pictures to accompany each one.

Nice find.

By the way, everybody check out my infraction when you click into my name. I kind of like it...too bad it goes away in December
what?
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  #4  
Old 10-03-2006, 09:57 AM
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Join Date: Aug 2005
Location: Michigan
Posts: 703
Quote:
Originally Posted by kamil View Post
I finally found this again...I read this about 2 years ago and it even had pictures to accompany each one.

Nice find.

By the way, everybody check out my infraction when you click into my name. I kind of like it...too bad it goes away in December
You do realize that this is a Mercedes forum, correct?
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  #5  
Old 10-03-2006, 11:48 AM
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Location: Milford, CT
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AN AMERICAN REPUBLICAN: You have two cows. Your neighbor has none. So what?

Yeah thats a good one. Good joke!
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  #6  
Old 10-03-2006, 12:39 PM
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Location: Toronto, Ontario
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Quote:
Originally Posted by TheDon View Post
what?
Infractions only show privately. They aren't viewable by the public.
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  #7  
Old 10-04-2006, 05:09 AM
kamil's Avatar
Rutgers University
 
Join Date: Feb 2004
Location: North Jersey
Posts: 1,310
Quote:
Originally Posted by jlomon View Post
Infractions only show privately. They aren't viewable by the public.
Damn. I have a nice little rap sheet going.

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