Hey Hef.
 

Well it sounds like this guy's a problem.I've got one too..A year and a half ago,while my Fiancee was dying in the hospital,I lent a friend(at the time) $6,500.oo cash,to get out of some child support bind he was in.He was making $1200.oo a week at the time,and promised me the money back very soon.Needless to say,he still owes me $6500.oo of it.Not a penny yet,no matter how nice I am.Since then,he's purchased a house,and two cars,as well as had a pretty good year for himself.His wife just lost her job,and over the year he changed jobs.Every time I ask him for money I get a sob story.In fact,I've called him,just to say hello,and he get's right into the excuse,before even saying hello,or anything else.I guess I should have broken his legs in advance.Maybe I could have collected his state checks then,while he was out of work healing.With Asa,on her death bed at 29 years old,and me living practically in the hospital at the time,and in the process of losing my mind,and more,maybe I wasn't thinking too clearly.I guess I should have let them throw him in jail.I...,like you,am just too nice of a guy.I want to have my lawyer put a lien on the guy's house.It looks like the logical thing to do next.Money always ruins friendships.

I am very sad to hear about your fiancee. I can't imagine how hard that must be.

Regarding your supposed friend . . I hope you have something in writing, then take him to court yourself and save the legal fees. To a lawyer $6,500 is small potatoes and it will be eaten up in legal fees before you know it. Go for the garnishment on his paycheck. Your friend is a dirtbag to not pay you one penny over an 18 month period. What if he missed a mortgage payment? Do you think the bank would be so nice? Hell no. He deserves to be slammed. Take some of your grief over your fiancee out on this sheister. Putting a lien on his house will do nothing for you unless he sells it, and then Uncle Sam is first, First mortgage is second, and second mortgages are third, and you run a distant fourth.

Best of luck getting your money back. Oh, and to get you a little more motivated to go after this jerk, if you had stuck the money in the market over the last 18 months you would have at least another $650 to add to the original sum.

I'm sorry to hear about the situation. I agree with Ocean View that You have to have boundries in any relationship and it sounds like there is a lack of boundries in this one.

p.s. I would have rather had the 300CE in the stock blue color than the black that it is now. ;)

Hasta la vista, BABY! :behead:

There is no respect for you with this guy.:greedy:

This is why doing business with friends is difficult. I agree business is business and I would evict asap. Out of 24 months rent he paid 1.5? Thats 22.5 months in lost income!:eek:

Even though he is a friend sometimes you need to be a little tough, it would be better for him personaly in the long run. I know a couple people that sound similer, they are always "down on there luck" so to speak. Nothing wrong with being friendly with them and helping them out once in awhile, just don't let them drag you down too.

Chinese have a saying : Fish and visitors stink after 3 days.



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Supposedly it is Ben Franklin

http://www.ushistory.org/franklin/quotable/singlehtml.htm

interesting reading the replies. I'll keep you posted.

I've thought numerous times I have to stop being nice. i do too many things for free for customers at work and a lot more at home on the side so may be its time for that all to come to an end. One of my last renters, another friend of mine, paid me on time for 5 months straight, but I let him save his last 3 months (about 2K total) so he could pay for his wedding. He moved to Indiana (poor college student still) and has been sending me checks every month since to pay it back which he has been very grateful for.

there are many people who are still honorable.

the other fellow who borrowed money for back child support....well....the fact that he was behind on it should have been a sign.

i had a fellow working for me for whom i received a garnishment from missouri for 37K of back child support. he said it was all a mistake....he had paid his ex in cash and she would testify to that effect....right. he was just a deadbeat with a really good appearance and personality. i eventually had to fire him for cause.

tom w

Well at least what works for me is to seperate things into two catagories. Personal and business.

If I want to help a friend out its personal and I don't expect to make money or care about the money.

If its business they are treated like any other client.


Nothing wrong with helping people out, its just I have found that if you help to much they sometimes take advantage of you. Its a tough line to walk and very much a tough call.

Since you can't go back in time, now is "enough". Most parents aren't as generous as you have been with your friend.

Truck, I'm so sorry to hear about your loss. Man it musta been hard.

*** You don't go from "nice" to "business" overnight... ***
 

Johnhef:

My rule (Developed over MANY tries and failures! :rolleyes: ) is this: Lend once, wait for repayment, then it's OK to lend again, but never more than you can afford to do without.

I've done EXACTLY what you're doing now...getting out of it will be as messy as you want or as he wants to make it. Please, consult some "learned friends" in how to procede in getting him out of the apartment. Your state/county/city may have laws that will bind you up for 6 months or better when getting rid of the deadbeat if you go about it the wrong way. Look for enlightenment from your renting peers.

Outside of that, your reputation as a "soft touch" may get mangled in the process, but in the end, you may someday need all this cash you're giving away for others in a better need than what's happening right now.

Good luck.

Truckinit:

Life's too short (As I'm sure you've been thinking about lately!) to let some bone-head take advantage of you when you were at your most vulnerable. A true friend would have thought twice before even THINKING of "borrowing" money from you while you were going through what you were. This person is/was no friend. Get legal advise, then sue (small claims - whatever) to get the cash back or a judgement (don't go after a lien) - consider the "friendship" dead - he did when he first approached you during your time of need. And he continues to demonstrate his nature by the lack of action on his part.

And when (or if) he starts paying you back? You can bet he'll be bad-mouthing you behind your back when he is writing out a check to you.

Drop him. You know, already, that he dropped you first.

Good luck and I wish/hope that things get better for you and your departed fiancee's family.
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Really, everything here has already been said. But I'll say it again anyway: give him the boot asap.

The problem is, a savvy renter can stay for months, while the landlord files paperwork to evict. If every "t" isn't crossed right, the process starts all over again.

A friend of mine tried to shut the well water off, on a property he was renting to some deadbeats, in order to get them to move out faster. They had not paid any rent in six months. They renters called the police, and guess who almost ended up going to jail? That's right, the landlord. Only because he was still on site, and turned the well back on right away, was he able to avoid a trip with Barney the deputy. Long story short, they moved after paying three months of rent and having lived in the house for one year. The place was trashed as well, but that is another story.