Originally Posted by buckwheat
(Post 1411434)
Good lord, yet another “I’m fed up with Jiffy Lube” thread. This makes # 4,358 just on this forum. Some think by taking drugs they have stumbled on a miraculous streak of originality, like NOBODY has ever posted about Jiffy Lube before.
Enamored with newfound originality, hops in his beat up Ford and it's off to Jiffy Lube at closing time to pick a fight.
True to nature, an argument ensues first with the front line help. Our subject feels invigorated as he escalates it to the managerial level. Although he had to wait a bit as she was in the bathroom.
He first brings up George Bush’s war to the stunned shop kids. Then on to why big oil in general, and Jiffy Lube in particular is to blame. Followed by inane topics like taxes should be higher, the government knows best how to run your life, all corporate profits should go to the government for redistribution directly into politician’s back pockets, on and on. The Luber’s were watching him, knowing something wasn’t quite right.
Forced to listen, poor exasperated Jiffy Luber’s yawn as they reluctantly change the the poor souls' oil. They’ve seen him before one of them whispers. Oh yea, that guy. They all think back in a daze…
Supposedly came in a year or so ago with a 1965 VW Bus painted with flowers. He was pulling a burned up Merc 190 on a trailer. As the story goes, he is on his way to blame his mechanic. Mechanic allowed our friend to run it 50k miles without changing the oil. “It’s not my fault” he claims, popping a Prozac while nervously looked out the corner of his eye. Winks at one of the Luber’s, says “I get them free from the government”.
As he pulls out of the Jiffy Lube in a huff, the staff is screaming, “wait - we’re not done yet”! He thinks it’s the usual everyday heckling as he flips them the bird and off he goes, but ohoh.
Looks like our hapless friend forgot to tie down the beat up little Merc on the trailer as he watches it slowly roll off and out into traffic. Causes a pile up on the busy 5 lane road. All the kids at Jiffy Lube are snickering amongst themselves at the growing spectacle. As the noise grows, so does a large portion of spectators now gathering.
He jumps out in the middle of the road and screams “it’s not my fault – my mechanic didn’t tell me to tie it down”. They large crowd now burst into a howling laughter; press photographers show up and snap more photos of the amused crowd than the wreck itself. In tears he stomps his feet and angrily shouts to the relentless crowd “I’m a professional! I’m an architect or something! Show me some respect or I’ll sue ALL of you”!
They’re on the ground now in hysterics. Jiffy Lube manager re-opens shop from all the commotion and does record business. He threatens a few bystanders and gets the little Merc back on the trailer, and heads over to his lawyer’s office. But alas.
The VW Bus burns a piston and explodes just as he’s pulling in to the parking lot. He kicks his door open in a rage, door falls off into the lawyers flower bed.
Between writing checks to the lawyer, he posts on various BBs and complains some members are unfairly “picking on him”. Lawyer quietly notes the shift keys are busted on his 1993 TI-386 Laptop
|
