Originally Posted by cmac2012

Oll right. You've gone too far now. I demand satifaction!!

Have your second contact my second and we'll arrange suitable arrangements, forthwith.

My honor as a gentleman is at stake here, sir. I await your prompt reply.

Originally Posted by Zeus

Bot - great story, well written. Glad your toe is better, sounds like you had a nice little run with it.

I had something similar happen, infected little toe. Got real bad. Went to the hospital and the doctor gave me a prescription for antiobiotics which I took and which accomplished the sum total of something less than nothing. Came back and doc said if the toe doesn't get better, I'll have to be hospitalized with intravenous antibiotics. So, I went up to my wife's (girlfriend at the time) cottage and pulled a Rambo. Drank some booze, got my wife (med student at the time) to lance the green ooze filled blister with a swiss army knife. She did so and a bunch of green pus oozed out. Smelled strangely like a cross between a stinkhorn in full bloom and the batch of vomit you forgot to clean from under the sofa when your parents got home from vacation and you told them you didn't throw that party your neighbours are referring to. After she lanced it, she doused it with isopropyl alcohol. That...hurt. Healed up nicely after that.

Originally Posted by Botnst

Jesus, Zeus, that sounds like gas gangrene! You're lucky you have a leg.

(Something weird about writing, "Jesus, Zeus, ...)

Originally Posted by Botnst

(continued)
In which our hero learns that not all doctors are equally competent

2 hours in the waiting room passed like somnolent glaciers in the night. Eventually I got into see the doctor, only he didn't actually get to the exam room for another 45 minutes.

He looked at it pushed and prodded and agreed that my toe looked infected and was probably painful. He acknowledged that the cause of the inflammation was unaffected by Amoxicillin and suggested taking a fluid sample for a culture and cleaning the wound to take a more sterile look at it. Okay.

Nurse comes in about 25 minutes later and cleans the affected area and props-up the bed so I can watch the festivities. She also gave me 3 pills: Bacterim, Keflex, and a soothing little narcotic number. Mrs B was seated adjacent and taking it all in for future reference, I'm sure. Nurse gooped-up the flesh with some strange stuff that was Betadine in color by dried to a sort of gelatinous (appear) material over the wound and nearby area. About 15 minutes after nurse finished the doc came in and nearly filled a syringe with lidocaine. (Uh-oh). He switched to a long, yet narrow orificed needle and said, "I'm going to inject the area to make it less painful." I'm thinking "Cool, but I'm not sure I'm going to like sticking that needle into my hyper-sensitive obesely-swollen second tow." By golly, I was right, too!

I watched with dread fascination as he took careful aim and slowly stuck the needle into my toe. YEOW! But then he started foring the lidocaine out of the needle. My tow was already thoroughly engorged with fluid, being extraordinarily swollen. So he was intent on introducing more fluid into a very resistant package. Also, he had to push so hard that he couldn't hold the needle still, so it was wiggling with his muscular tension as he injected the fluid. Finally, it came to an end and I thought, "Gee, that hurt but I'm glad it's over with." Wrong. He repeated the procedure 2-3 more times. One time he pushed so hard that a jet of lidocaine burst through the scab and reached my shoulder. I swear, it's true. Mrs B was changing colors like a hunted squid.

Doc waited a few minutes for the lidocaine to take hold and we learn he is Nigerian. I wish I had asked if he needed any help moving money out of his country, but I didn't think of it at that time. Then he unsleeves a hidden scalpel, like a matador reveals the sword from behind his cape. He sliced into the infected portion and was gratified by a prompt ooze of funky-colored blood. I'm thinking, "Hey, I felt that! Let's wait for the lidocaine to kick in!" But before I could voice my opinion, he put both thumbs on either side of the wound and pushed down HARD, like a zit squeeze by Arnold Schwartzenegger. I swear, my eyes bugged-out of my head. I looked down and sure enough, old silk-hands bubbled-up some crud. He daubed it off with a gauze and then bore-down ever harder for a second attempt at the gold metal.

Now I have to tell you, this was as bad as water-boarding. I would have confessed to damn-near anything if the confession brought relief. There was a gory little mess oozing down my foot and I'm sure I was cross-eyed.

After the nurse cleaned-up the mess and bandaged the toe, doc came back with a prescription for the two antibiotics and for Darvacet. Mrs B drove us home.

Today the swelling has noticeably decreased, the reddness has abated, and the sensitivity to sensation is dramatically reduced. Also, I have a hell of a buzz.

So what did you do for Memorial Day weekend?

B

Originally Posted by Botnst

Shoot GS, years ago I read somewhere that, due to cell replacement, we get a whole new body every 7-8 years. If that's the case I have been through about 5 bodies since recreation dope.

My ol' body is so cleansed that one of those pills gets me righteous for several hours of watching competitive paint drying.

And CMAC, the boil on the butt thing, I can hardly imagine a less pleasant region for a boil. In the spirit of space exploration, did the boil leave a ring around Uranus?

Originally Posted by BENZ-LGB

I hope you know how to wield a machete...

Originally Posted by mgburg

. . . so we figured that to blow this baby up, we needed to grab a "bit" below the surface and start squeezing with the pliers.

After "wrapping" the plier's jaws with some cloth, one guy held the bottle of iodine, pliers-guy grabbed the proper amount of flesh and the last guy put on a "playtex glove" - grabbed the sewing needle, and made a "small stab" into the mound.

Originally Posted by Mistress

Wel Bot, At least you aren't a woman because with the way your luck was running you would have ended up with one hell of a yeast infection. Glad your toe is still attached. Down in Fla, we used to call flip-flops "zorries."

Originally Posted by Botnst

Jesus, Zeus, that sounds like gas gangrene! You're lucky you have a leg.

(Something weird about writing, "Jesus, Zeus, ...)

Originally Posted by GottaDiesel

Couldn't have happened to a nicer guy.