Ouch with a capital "O"! - PeachParts Mercedes-Benz Forum

Designo_E320 · #1 06-09-2007, 11:00 PM

I was walking in my neighborhood today just to get some fresh air and look at the few new homes that are being built. There is a kid who always cuts through my lawn and has no respect for people's privacy or grass. (he could walk on my driveway as i have 2 of them instead of walking on my grass!) Well anyways there are a couple of lots left that have no construction but they do have those white drain pipes sticking out of the ground. You know what I am talking about. There is one every 50 feet or so? Well anyways this kid, probably around 14 years old and about 180 pounds is just screwing around with a bunch of his friends in the lot with his skateboard. As I walk past him, I tell him to be careful and he basically shows me the finger. This is a very upscale community, and may be the most upscale community in the city and our children just do NOT behave like that. Anyways, as I turned around to complete my round around the block thinking that I will definitely have a talk with this kid's dad about his behavior, I hear a scream! I turned around and the fatty has fallen. I run to help him but as I got closer I was horrified. This kid had apparently tried to jump with his skateboard and didn't quite make it and somehow landed with his ball on one of those white pipes sticking out of the ground. There was blood all over the shorts. As I told his friends to run and call the ambulance, in an effort to stop the bleeding I took the guys shorts off so I could see and get to the wound. I saw that his scrotum had been ripped pretty much off and was only attacked to the area around the penis only. His balls were actually exposed. The ambulance came and got him but I never told him what had happened to him so as to prevent him from going into shock. I just told him it was a little tear and a real man wouldn't even really feel it. I felt like telling him that this is what God does to children who don't respect their elders but I didn't think it was the right time to do so. I will however him me the next time I see him when he gets out of the hospital.

Texholdem · #2 06-09-2007, 11:03 PM

I hope it's not a case of unconscious Schadenfreude?

Designo_E320 · #3 06-09-2007, 11:06 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Texholdem

I hope it's not a case of unconscious Schadenfreude?

Well, I wouldn't really call it "unconscious Schadenfreude" although I do remember having a smile on my face right after I heard his scream and while I was typing it.

Matt L · #4 06-09-2007, 11:14 PM

So it's conscious Schadenfreude! Not that there's anything wrong with that...

Texholdem · #5 06-09-2007, 11:19 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Designo_E320

Well, I wouldn't really call it "unconscious Schadenfreude" although I do remember having a smile on my face right after I heard his scream and while I was typing it.

That meets the definition of the word

Texholdem · #6 06-09-2007, 11:31 PM

My personal Schadenfreude:

some time ago I was driving gemuetlich 80 mph on German Autobahn in my 1992 300E, just the speed limit of that highway segment, as a rogue driver in a Porsche honked me down almost 2 minutes long to chase me out of the left lane while the right lane was full with slower cars. I let him pass and he showed me nevertheless the finger, no actually in Germany they show you the circle formed with the thumb and the index, but you get the idea. He must have had kind of 120, 130 mph. 15 minutes later I stopped at a service station and there was the guy again, intercepted by the Autobahn Polizei. I drove very slowly past them, came almost face to face with the rowdy and made my biggest grin I could

.

dannym · #7 06-10-2007, 10:21 AM

I once fell backwards right on my assbone. It hurt like hell. It was actually a cast drain pipe with an elbow on it. My assbone hit square on the elbow

I hope you don't really plan on telling that kid God did that to him. That would be totally wrong.

Danny

Designo_E320 · #8 06-10-2007, 11:44 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by dannym

I once fell backwards right on my assbone. It hurt like hell. It was actually a cast drain pipe with an elbow on it. My assbone hit square on the elbow

I hope you don't really plan on telling that kid God did that to him. That would be totally wrong.

Danny

Orkrist2 · #9 06-10-2007, 05:48 PM

Am I the only one that will comment on the totally severe nature of those injuries? I suppose he'll just be stitched up or stapled, but holy cow man that is so crazy as to be hard to believe. His folks will probably sue the construction company, I know the type of family that produces that type of kid.

I have a pretty strong stomach, but if I saw that I think I might throw up.

Mistress · #10 06-10-2007, 06:22 PM

karma......your the kinda neighbor I wish we had more off. obviously this child isn't being raised right....I am glad you were there to offer aid when this brat needed it, your a good guy.

Hatterasguy · #11 06-10-2007, 09:22 PM

He is lucky he didn't lose anything

Talk about a kick in the nuts, it hurts just thinking about it.

Kuan · #12 06-10-2007, 10:10 PM

I've done things like that as a kid.

Give the kid a break. Embrace his defiance and hope that one day he'll grow up to use his power for good.

mgburg · #13 06-11-2007, 12:03 AM

Early 70's, toboganning (sp?) down a icy/packed hill with a "jump" formed over a large rock (My butthole is puckering as I'm typing this!!!!)...

I hop on one of those plastic sheets of "blue suicide fun" and start down the hill (Mach 4.65)...

Hit the "jump"...

Shattered the "jump"

Tailbone hits rock that was the basis for "jump" ...

Stars and numbness are all I see and feel...

I've lost control of my lower half of the body...any gas in my intestines is rushing through an orifice that has no control...I sound like a wet woopy-cushion at a formal dinner...my face is buried in two inches of ice/snow and I can't move...I'm now recovering enough feeling and sense that I realize that there's a 129% chance that I'm permanently paralyzed...

Then the pain...no blood...just UNBELIEVABLE, INDESCRIBABLE, DON'T TELL ANYONE OVER 30, FREAKING P A I N !

No one is helping me because I'm still emitting gas that should have stopped 30 seconds before...

Evenually, one of the guys realizes that my face should have emerged from the snow, so he figured that there's a bit more to my "theatrics" than they thought...

I ended up spending the rest of the weekend (This happened about 0900 on a Saturday morning...) "propped" near a fireplace, on top of three sleeping-bags - I wasn't able to walk for about 2 hours after the hit, then after the "bruise" and swelling settled down, I could hobble around like Festus on Gun Smoke...although, my disposition wasn't nearly as warm as his...

Haven't been on a sled since...

THE GROIN HIT

Early 80s - I'm working "Crowd Control" (CC) at the "Barn" in West Allis during the State Fair...4-H's are bringing their prize animals (cows, sheep, horses, etc....) into the center ring for judging and such...

One soul is using some sort of "scratching" stick (they scratch the belly of the animal for some reason?) and just when he's walking behind the cow - P O W ! This kid is caught right on the Johnson and company and is launched approx. 12 feet into the center-ring's wall. He's "OUT" before he's down...

I hop over the fence from the audience area and get to him just as another of my fellow CCers reaches him. We pop open the pants and he's got a full hoof tatto on his groin/penis...I reach up into the audience area and ask for a kid's snow-cone...he gives it up without a word...I drop the cone on the kid's groin and we bundle him up to keep him from going into shock...the ambulance crew arrives about 45 seconds after the cone is in place...they pop him in the back of the ambulance and he's outa' there...

Later, his "area-leader" tracks us down to let us know that he's doing much better...he ended up with a severly bruised bladder and penis, he has some torn muscle/tissue in the area, but the main thing was that the bladder wasn't ruptured. We didn't ask what happened to his cow...

I don't know what could be worse - Rock or Hoof?

I hope that anyone I know will never find out...

TheDon · #14 06-11-2007, 12:10 AM

dude you shat your pants?

mgburg · #15 06-11-2007, 12:31 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by TheDon

dude you shat your pants?

Just "gassed" 'em...