They're Back To School!!! - Page 2 - PeachParts Mercedes-Benz Forum

WVOtoGO · #16 08-29-2007, 11:14 PM

Sad.
If there’s one thing I hate to see, it’s kids that are what we call “out of balance”.
Sure, there’s the obvious balance issue: a kid that at 4’ tall is pushing 150+ pounds.
But the ones that are not so noticeable are the kids who’s parents let them sit around a TV/Game box/Computer screen/etc all day long after school (or all summer long).

The other sad scenario (that folks tend to miss) are the ones that are far too over stimulated with way too many after school activities. It’s sad to ask a kid if he/she likes playing on umpteen different sports teams all year round, and hear them say something like: “No. But my parents think I should.” Social activity is one thing. Social burn out and no free time to just be a kid is yet another. If you ask a kid if he/she likes playing an after school sport and they say: “I guess so.” That’s a big red flag to the parents, right there.

When parents have to coordinate all the kids after school time on a daily time chart calendar to keep it all running smooth……
What kind of a life is that for the kid?

We’ve known a couple of families like that, too. With such strict time controlled after school activities it was sickening. No family time worth a damn. And they would tell us things like: “If we keep them busy (with all the activities). They won’t have time to get into things they shouldn’t.” WHAT ?!? And the sad thing is. When both families kids went off to college. They all failed out first year do to “finally being able to let loose, in charge of their own time”. (One girl came home with a tattoo and a stud in her tongue. We laughed our asses off on that one. The strict catholic parents that had her running from one activity to the next most of her childhood didn’t though.)

It’s all about balance. Starting the “what’s wrong and what’s not” as early as possible, and sticking with it. Talking to your kids - but just as important - listening to them as well.

And get their little butts outside.
I really feel sad for the city bound kids.

If you really want an eye opening experience regarding rural and urban kids. Go watch a high school girls (or boys for that matter. but the girls are more obvious) state basketball championship. Pay attention to the sportsmanship between the teams as you watch a division 1A game. Then do the same and compare as you watch a 2A, then 3A, 4A then the big 5A game. Call the “farm league” what you want. I’ll take those kids any day.

John Doe · #17 08-30-2007, 09:42 AM

I guess I am just old fashioned: I have no problem criticizing political beliefs or cheesy habits of people I haven't met, but I stop short of talking about their mothers or their parenting skills

Oh well, I'm off to fly my children into hurricane territory to stay on a boat

Zeus · #18 08-30-2007, 09:50 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by John Doe

...but I stop short of talking about their mothers or their parenting skills

A wise man. Having had a very difficult first child, I heard every single unsolicited piece of advice out there in terms of how to deal with it. All that advice did was inform me how ignorant (in the sense of not having the insight or experience) some of the people were that gave the 'advice'.

I've always tried to take the 'walk a mile' approach...and then only give advice when asked. Not sure if there is a bigger minefield than parenting/kids issues. Makes politics seem like a pleasant Sunday chat. Just MHO.

G-Benz · #19 08-30-2007, 10:36 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by WVOtoGO

...But the ones that are not so noticeable are the kids who’s parents let them sit around a TV/Game box/Computer screen/etc all day long after school (or all summer long).

Actually, my kid has thrown herself into plenty of activities this summer...even learned how to play her electric bass!

I was pointing out what she chooses to do with her "chill-out" time...she doesn't get to spend a lot of time doing it, I just frown at what kids these days seem to find "engaging".

Quote:

Originally Posted by WVOtoGO

...The other sad scenario (that folks tend to miss) are the ones that are far too over stimulated with way too many after school activities. It’s sad to ask a kid if he/she likes playing on umpteen different sports teams all year round, and hear them say something like: “No. But my parents think I should.” Social activity is one thing. Social burn out and no free time to just be a kid is yet another. If you ask a kid if he/she likes playing an after school sport and they say: “I guess so.” That’s a big red flag to the parents, right there.

Understand that some kids actually LIKE it that way! It's easy to stand back and point it out as a flaw, but my kid gets in constant trouble for going behind our backs and signing up for yet another activity, or skipping the bus and attending some athletic tryout...currently, it's volleyball! We drew the line at her being a full-time athlete, and with volleyball being her most pathetically-performed sport, she was told not to participate. She pleads daily for us to change our minds, but we are sticking to our guns on this.

Quote:

Originally Posted by WVOtoGO

...And get their little butts outside.
I really feel sad for the city bound kids.

My niece (same age as my daughter) lives in a town of 1100. Her rural demeanor, lifestyle and priorities are vastly polarized from my urban daughter. My daughter enjoys her visits up there, because she can leave all of the clique-ish stresses behind for a spell.

One thing I did notice is that the internet (and the ability to deliver broadband to sparsely populated areas) have now allowed the rural kids to develop the same bad PC surfing habits that the urban kids have mastered. MySpace and YouTube are no strangers to my niece!

SwampYankee · #20 08-30-2007, 10:39 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Zeus

A wise man.

Having had a very difficult first child, I heard every single unsolicited piece of advice out there in terms of how to deal with it. All that advice did was inform me how ignorant (in the sense of not having the insight or experience) some of the people were that gave the 'advice'.

I've always tried to take the 'walk a mile' approach...and then only give advice when asked. Not sure if there is a bigger minefield than parenting/kids issues. Makes politics seem like a pleasant Sunday chat. Just MHO.

NOT just your HO! My 9.5yo son is and has been a handful. Very bright, knows it, very inquisitive, can spend hours researching or working on projects when they interest him, somewhat immature acting related to his age yet can carry on any conversation with an adult, can not sit still to save his life, extremely competitive and gets frustrated when friends and peers can't grasp a concept as quickly as he can. Some would say it's lax punishment/parenting but I would say we would be on the upper end of the punishment scale. Certainly not at the top, but compared to what some of our friends and other parents call punishment we definitely expect more and better from our kids. (see sometimes that critiquing just comes out

)

Parents would go on and on about their ADD/ADHD trials, treatments and tribulations except that he doesn't fit any mold for them since he has no problems academically and several other criteria. Everyone's unsolicited input and teacher's hinting were enough for us to get him tested for every behavioral problem that you could think of. But they just confirmed what we already thought. It is amazing what some extra work at school (fortunately his teachers have been willing to give him extra work or let him do computer research when he was done with his classwork) and kicking his butt out of the house after dinner to run off some energy did for us. Didn't solve all of the problems, just took the edge off. But I wouldn't dream of offering unsolicited advise to other parents.

For my almost 5yo son w/Down syndrome, most parents at our kids' school can't relate or are afraid to say anything lest they look ignorant so in a way it's been nice

Now when we get together with other families w/kids with Ds it's another story. Just as kids will be kids, parents will be parents and some can't keep their mouths shut.

John Doe · #21 08-30-2007, 10:53 AM

"Having had a very difficult first child, I heard every single unsolicited piece of advice out there in terms of how to deal with it. All that advice did was inform me how ignorant (in the sense of not having the insight or experience) some of the people were that gave the 'advice'.

I've always tried to take the 'walk a mile' approach...and then only give advice when asked. Not sure if there is a bigger minefield than parenting/kids issues. Makes politics seem like a pleasant Sunday chat. Just MHO."

Very well put.

And edit: Island trip is cancelled!!

WVOtoGO · #22 08-30-2007, 12:31 PM

(Yes. That was very well put.)

But as it seems some are getting defensive and cranky with me for “giving advice”. Here ya go:

For starters – Nothing in post 16 was directed at anyone in particular.

Second – Sorry if anyone thinks it’s wrong to voice an opinion on a topic that a little common sense reveals an obvious right or wrong doing. And let me state that it’s only an opinion. Not to be taken as advise on how anyone has to / should raise their child or they’ll wind up with a juvenal delinquent heading for prison.

I personally don’t think its right for parents to let their kids feed on crap and roll into obesity at age 10 while sitting around watching crap on a screen all day.
Nor do I agree with running their lives so full of activities that they have little to no time for anything else, much less just being a kid. I fell any parent that cares about their child, and has a little common sense will agree. (Lord, I hope I’m not wrong there.)

I’ll also add here, that I feel there are two sides to the Rural/Urban topic as well.
(Neither of which I’ll want to get into here. Everyone says: “thank God”.…)

I don’t feel I’ve taken a personal shot at anyone with either of these positions.
Are we still having a G-Benz thing here? If so - I’ve read about what G-Benz does with his girl. The soccer…. The dirt bikes…. I think it’s great. I also think it’s great that she participates as she wants to and not as she’s told to. I’ve seen (I’d think we all have) the difference. I thought I made that difference clear with the examples of a kids reply when asked how they feel about it. Maybe not...
I feel he’s got control of the balance I spoke of. A balance that is different for everyone. But, I also feel if he thinks he has to close MySpace accounts and ban MTV in his house, he could have (not a shot here) headed off both those issues before they arose. But that’s just me.

JD;
I guess an OD forum is perhaps not the place for my voicing an opinion.
But, it seems to me we’ve had these discussions here in the past, and without an issue.
Oh well….

Sorry to hear you can step up to the mic (or keyboard) and let someone have it based on how they vote. But you can’t/wont post that you think it’s wrong to let a kid get fat or get burned out with too many activities. ( And - I don’t think either topic takes a mile walk.) And you think that’s being old fashioned ? You think that’s

?
I think that’s a strange way of drawing a somewhat odd (hypocritical?) line.
But again – That’s just me.

Hmmm….
Maybe I went wrong by not posting my thoughts on Pella windows first…….

Anyway – And far more serious than the issues at hand – Have a great (and safe) trip with the kids.

Oops. Just saw it was canceled. Sorry to hear that. Maybe you can come up with something else fun to do with them. (But I’ll be damned if I’m gonna give you any opinions on that !!

)

G-Benz;
Keep up with what from here looks to be doing a good job with your kid.

Anyone else;
Here’s a thought – You can only blame the sleepovers for broken bones. Everything else that effects them. And how it effects them. Is your responsibility.

And the only thing it takes a village to do…. is raid another village.

I’m done now.
Rest assured - I’ll walk away feeling that the next time someone goes on with/at me about their ADD/ADHD child - It would be wrong for me to say anything like: “Well, maybe you should think about cutting back on their 3 candy bars and 4 Dr. Peppers a day diet.”
Cuz apparently, that’s just wrong.

G-Benz · #23 08-30-2007, 01:04 PM

No jabs or insults taken here...that's why I added the smiley in my first reply...

Opinions are welcome here...except for Pellas...

I am assuming that you don't have any parenting responsibilities, hence the flood of retorts on your initial comments. Your statements were well said IMHO. Parents are however quick to volley back at anyone who DARES provide opinions on child rearing...especially when it's from a non-parent.

Never mind that your statements were just opinions in general and not directed towards anyone.

Probably comes off on the same tone as someone who opines that "Mercedes owners are rich snobs"...we are a sensitive bunch...

WVOtoGO · #24 08-30-2007, 01:09 PM

Glad to hear that from you. Thanks.

I'm thinking most everyone here knows I have two kids.
A girl, 10. And a boy, 8.

They are the primary reason we sold the business.
We don’t do (never have/never will) the nanny or daycare thing.
DJ was gone way too much.
When she was here. I was often gone.

Not a good thing for any family (in my opinion

).

I still do odd flight work. Mostly day work with the helicopters. Take the kids when I can if it's an overnight.
DJ now can devote more time to advanced aerobatic instruction. She’s only a radio call away. (Something both kids have mastered.)

Nothing like being a family again !!
For any money – the flight service wasn’t worth it when the kids were missing us.

SwampYankee · #25 08-30-2007, 01:35 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by WVOtoGO

And the only thing it takes a village to do…. is raid another village.

Here, here!

WVO, you make some very good points, many that I've thought to myself.

I said unsolicited advice annoyed me, but trust me, I've asked others for their opinions when we were trying to figure out our best course of action. Consider yourself asked. I'm sure I'll have more questions as I go along for those who have BTDT.

Candy and soda were cut completely and videogame time was cut back for behavioral reasons and quite successful. The kid is a stick and active with sports and outdoor activities but like a lot of kids these days, if left to his own devices would be content sitting in front of a tv with a controller in his hands.

Medmech · #26 08-30-2007, 02:05 PM

In Michigan schools cannot start until after labor day...........state law.

It's supposed to help the economy.

G-Benz · #27 08-30-2007, 02:07 PM

Note: It's in the best interest of schools to get kids medicated, as the drug companies subsidize the schools for putting kids on the ADHD roster!

Amazing how many parents i talked to who had their seemingly normal kid get the nod for testing...including my own!

Parenting is wrought with sacrifices...and other than the wife and I going to work, the rest of our lives are spent on involvement with whatever activity our daughter is in...be it scholastic, fine arts, or athletics...or just plain family recreation.

Not always healthy to be so "tuned-in", as our spousal intimate relationship suffers. Though there is plenty of "downtime" for us when our kid is actively socializing elsewhere, my wife and I go our separate ways to engage in activities that we have little time for when the kid is with us.

Hence, painting a room takes six months, installing an MB part takes two weeks, etc...

Hatterasguy · #28 08-30-2007, 06:45 PM

Yeah whats up with that? Every freaken kid has ADD or ADHD or whatever they call it these days?

They are all on drugs.

Little kids don't like to sit behind desks all day, they fidget! Thats what kids do. You don't need a drug to correct this, maturity will.

TheDon · #29 08-30-2007, 07:25 PM

I was the kid that did a little of everything but not alot of one thing

ya know?

one or two sports, a few clubs, personal projects, work, friends, dates, etc.. etc.. I think I am doing fine.. other than my fear of failure.. I am fine

WVOtoGO · #30 08-30-2007, 07:30 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Hatterasguy

Yeah whats up with that? Every freaken kid has ADD or ADHD or whatever they call it these days?

They are all on drugs.

Little kids don't like to sit behind desks all day, they fidget! Thats what kids do. You don't need a drug to correct this, maturity will.

No kidding....

And many times (dare I say “Most”), so will proper nutrition.