MALE SENSITIVITY TEST
> 1. In the company of females, intercourse should be referred to as:
> A. Lovemaking.
> B. Screwing.
> C. Taking the pigskin bus to tuna town.

2. You should make love to a woman for the first time only after you've both shared:
> A. Your views about what you expect from a sexual relationship.
> B. Your blood-test results.
> C. Five tequila slammers.

3. You carefully pace yourself to time your orgasm so that:
> A. Your partner climaxes first.
> B. You both climax simultaneously.
> C. You don't miss ESPN Sports Center.

4. Passionate, spontaneous sex on the kitchen floor is:
> A. Healthy, creative love-play.
> B. Not the sort of thing your wife/girlfriend would agree to.
> C. Not the sort of thing your wife/girlfriend needs to ever find out about.
>
5. Spending the whole night cuddling a woman you've just had sex with is:
> A. The very best part of the experience.
> B. The second best part of the experience.
> C. $100 extra.
>
6. Your wife/girlfriend says she's gained five pounds in the last month. You tell her that it is:
> A. Of no consequence to how you love her and your affectionate feelings for her.
> B. Not a problem, she can join your gym if she'd like to.
> C. A very conservative estimate.
>
7. You think today's sensitive, caring man is:
> A. An important model to strive for
> B. A myth or an oxymoron.
> C. A moron.

> 8. Foreplay is to sex as:
> A. An appetizer is to entree.
> B. Primer is to paint.
> C. A long line is to an amusement park ride.
>
9. Which of the following are you most likely to find yourself saying at the end of a relationship?
> A. "This time together has been meaningful for me. I hope we can still be friends."
> B. "I'm not in right now, please leave a message at the beep."
> C. "Welcome to Dumpsville. Population: YOU."
>
10. A woman who is uncomfortable watching you masturbate:
> A. Probably needs a little more time, understanding, and gentle encouragement before she can cope with that sort of intimacy.
> B. Is uptight and a waste of time.
> C. Shouldn't have sat next to you on the bus in the first place.
>
> Evaluating Results:
> * If you answered "A" more than 7 times, check inside your pants to be sure you ARE a man.
> * If you answered "B" more than 7 times, check into therapy.
> * If you answered "C" more than 7 times, YOU DA MAN