Childless by Choice - Page 4 - PeachParts Mercedes-Benz Forum

Chad300tdt · #46 06-17-2008, 01:51 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Idolotor

If you think that there's going to be any "thank yous" try holding your breath on that...

Been there... done that...

Plenty of experience... x2!

I'm not expecting a thank you. That's not why I had kids. I had kids because I love kids and couldn't imagine not having my own. The reward is seeing them develop and learn.

If more parents took responsibility for their kids and didn't expect something in return, there wouldn't be the "problems" we're discussing.

aklim · #47 06-17-2008, 01:53 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Chad300tdt

Children are going to test their limits and buck against authority just as they have since the dawn of parenting. It's the job of the parent to rise above and do what's right for their children. You can't blame the children. There are cases where perhaps a medical issue is the root of the problem or bad influence from others, but a good parent will search for the root and take proper action.

A parent shouldn't take disrespect from their child as a ticket to return the attitude. The PARENT is the ADULT.

Sometimes it isn't possible especially with the constraints that the mindfawks have given us. Sometimes, no matter what you do, it isn't going to work out. I know lots of parents who have had a couple off good children and one or two bad ones.

aklim · #48 06-17-2008, 01:54 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Chad300tdt

It's not the job of the school system to raise and or discipline our children.

How do you teach without discipline?

Idolotor · #49 06-17-2008, 01:56 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Chad300tdt

I'm not expecting a thank you. That's not why I had kids. I had kids because I love kids and couldn't imagine not having my own. The reward is seeing them develop and learn.

If more parents took responsibility for their kids and didn't expect something in return, there wouldn't be the "problems" we're discussing.

You just don't know yet... but you will.

Everybody is optimistic at first.

You'll learn the hard way, just like everybody does...

Dee8go · #50 06-17-2008, 01:58 PM

Kids are not bad. You have to put some effort into raising them in order for them to be the kind of people you want them to be as adults.

I'm not the greatest parent in the world by a wide margin, and yet my kids are pretty responsible and well-behaved. I just think a lot of people want their kids to grow up to be wonderful people without the parents having to put much effort into it. And it doesn't matter if you're super wealthy or dirt poor. Kids need their parents time, attention, discipline, and example in order to grow up to be good people.

Chad300tdt · #51 06-17-2008, 02:00 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by aklim

How do you teach without discipline?

If the parents are doing their job at home, the teachers can focus on their job at school. There are always going to be extreme cases that can be sited, but the school system does have the ability to discipline in the same way adults are kept in check with the law. I don't want anyone hitting me or my children and if they do I/my kids had better done something extreme to warrant it.

I expect negative actions to have negative consequences. This needs to be taught at home for it to work in society.

aklim · #52 06-17-2008, 02:03 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Dee8go

You have to put some effort into raising them in order for them to be the kind of people you want them to be as adults.

Not always going to work out that way.

Mistress · #53 06-17-2008, 02:04 PM

The family tree stops here. I never considered it necessary to make a contribution to the gene pool however but, i did step in alot as "relief mom" when my girlfriends were really fried.

dynalow · #54 06-17-2008, 02:05 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Chad300tdt

It's not the job of the school system to raise and or discipline our children.

Exactly. But society lets the "inmates" have too much say in running the prison (school). Don't offend you. Don't offend me. I call that coddling.

Chad300tdt · #55 06-17-2008, 02:07 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Idolotor

You just don't know yet... but you will.

Everybody is optimistic at first.

You'll learn the hard way, just like everybody does...

Hopefully not.

I have spent quite a bit of time working with youth long before I had any kids of my own. I dealt mostly with kids from ages 12-16. I agree that it's not easy and it's not for everyone, but kids with bad attitudes are USUALLY reaching out for someone to notice them and help them/pay attention to them.

aklim · #56 06-17-2008, 02:08 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Chad300tdt

the school system does have the ability to discipline in the same way adults are kept in check with the law.

Which has been severely curtailed by the mindfawks. Look 50 years back and tell me it isn't true. Look 100 years back and tell me it isn't true.

aklim · #57 06-17-2008, 02:10 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Chad300tdt

but kids with bad attitudes are USUALLY reaching out for someone to notice them and help them/pay attention to them.

They say the same thing about people threatening suicide. It is a call for help.

If I saw someone threatening that, I'd sure as hell give them advice on how to slash their wrists correctly. None of that across the vein crap. Along the vein and try sit in a warm bath while doing it.

Chad300tdt · #58 06-17-2008, 02:19 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by aklim

Which has been severely curtailed by the mindfawks. Look 50 years back and tell me it isn't true. Look 100 years back and tell me it isn't true.

The difference is the focus on family values learned "at home". As time has progressed, people have started living double income lives, putting less focus on their kids and more on keeping a level of lifestyle. The result is what we are experiencing now.

My wife and I went to one full time, steady income with me getting feast or famine income and staying at home with our kids. Not everyone can do that, but I believe it's because they aren't willing to make the sacrifices necessary.

Also, I understand that I'm not an expert and these are just MY opinions, but they make so much sense to me.

aklim · #59 06-17-2008, 02:22 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Chad300tdt

The difference is the focus on family values learned "at home". As time has progressed, people have started living double income lives, putting less focus on their kids and more on keeping a level of lifestyle. The result is what we are experiencing now.

So you don't think that the mindfawks have changed the discipline process where corporal punishments, among others have been removed has any effect on it?

I came from a 2 income household and so did many people I knew. Only difference is that where we were raised, parents didn't really bother with what the mindfawks blamed the bad behavior on. IOW, we weren't spared punishment because sugar was blamed, bad childhood, etc, etc.

Back then it was sugar. What a load of BS. Now it is ADHD.

Chad300tdt · #60 06-17-2008, 02:34 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by aklim

So you don't think that the mindfawks have changed the discipline process where corporal punishments, among others have been removed has any effect on it?

I do believe that the changes in corporal punishment policy have made things worse in the schools, because there have always been parents that weren't doing their job. Now the school isn't able to do it "for them" anymore. There were plenty of parents willing to hand over the paddle to the school. Somewhere along the line discipline became viewed as abuse. There is a big difference between the two, but it isn't PC anymore.

My parents always signed the papers to keep me from being subject to a spank in school, because they felt it was their job. This, of course, meant more work for them as they would need to be called if I did something that required discipline and they would need to either be interrupted at work or come and get me. But that was a concession they were willing to make, and I always experienced the consequences of inappropriate actions on my part.