Got invited to a wedding - PeachParts Mercedes-Benz Forum

frosty · #1 06-23-2008, 01:04 PM

and I have some questions. The person getting married is someone I used to work with (and at one point had a crush on) and we became friends that way, but never really close friends, just "work friends." I've not responded to the invitation yet because I'm not sure if I should go. I say should as opposed to want because I would like to go yet I'm not sure if I'm prepared to go. And perhaps here you guys can help me understand what to expect at such occasions. First, what are approproate gifts? Second, must I go with a significant other, as I expect many to do? I'm single and I'm afraid that it'll be a bit awkward for me to come alone even though the invite is for me. Third, what to wear? Are weddings usually a black tie and tux event?

Obviously, as you can see, I've never really been to a wedding, well maybe one or two in the past but I can't recall how it was like, and I probably wasn't that self-conscious then.

On a side note, I didn't go to the baby shower mentioned in a past thread, but I gave a card (that I made) with a Target gift certificate ($50, which I hope wasn't too much or to cheap).

Kuan · #2 06-23-2008, 01:11 PM

Bleh if you're single just go to the bachelor party.

MTI · #3 06-23-2008, 01:12 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by frosty

First, what are approproate gifts?

Most couples are "registered" with their gift 'wants' at major stores or online sites.

Quote:

Second, must I go with a significant other, as I expect many to do? I'm single and I'm afraid that it'll be a bit awkward for me to come alone even though the invite is for me.

If the invitation states "& Guest" then you're allowed, but not required, to bring one, but keep in mind it usually means that the value of the gift increases; otherwise your a solo anyway.

Quote:

Third, what to wear? Are weddings usually a black tie and tux event?

Black tie only if the invitation specifies it; and it is usually only for evening receptions. Otherwise it is usually a suit-tie or sport coat event.

John Doe · #4 06-23-2008, 01:15 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by frosty

Second, must I go with a significant other, as I expect many to do? I'm single and I'm afraid that it'll be a bit awkward for me to come alone even though the invite is for me. Third, what to wear? Are weddings usually a black tie and tux event?

.

Well, at least you didn't go to the baby shower, so you get points for that.

Significant other? Single? DOOOOOOD---Wedding receptions are some of the most fertile hunting grounds for a single guy, bar none!!!!! Comon man, all the bride's friends and female relatives will be on their possible biggest bender of the year!! I wouldn't wear a tux unless the wedding is after 6:00 pm, and at this time of year here, I would wear a dinner jacket with the tux.

If you are going to go and feel all sorry for yourself and awkward, stay home and don't ruin the party. If you can grab your sack for two hours and dance marginally, write a taxi service # on your wrist before hand and go trolling

PS: you buy wedding gifts based on your budget, not the budget of the betrothed. My standard gift is a Tiffany ice bucket.

TX76513 · #5 06-23-2008, 01:15 PM

If you still have some embers burning for this person or if it is going to make you feel "down" going - don't go.
You don't have to have a partner to attend a wedding - and it is a great way to meet some new meat. Weddings are usually shirt/tie/coat unless the invitation notes otherwise like casual or black tie. The bride and groom has most likely registered at some local department stores which makes gift giving easier.

G-Benz · #6 06-23-2008, 01:42 PM

The wedding couple asks for RSVPs well in advance in order to gauge how much food they need, how large a hall they need to rent, and indirectly, how to arrange (reserved) seating. So going solo may ultimately wind you sitting in the "singles" table. Not a bad thing, but not good if there are desparate females seated with you. Weddings tend to enhance emotions of lovelorn women.

Gift registries are "suggestions" as far as I'm concerned. They were designed for the convenience of the couple, to eliminate duplicates, oddball chioces, or less-than-quality versions of a desired gift. Personally, I reserve selecting registry gifts for those couples I'm very close to, such as close relatives or best friends. You have no obligation as a co-worker to bring a lavish gift, but you do have an obligation to show up with one. Look at the registry anyway, as there may be a gift on the list that will match your budget...do so early, as the rest of the cheapo invitees will grab those options first.

Bring money...you will need it for the reception "cash bar" as well as folding money for the bride when you get your chance at a dance.

My worst wedding invitation? My absolute all-time head-over-heels crush-of-my-life, turned me down graciously when I got the nerve to ask her out back in high school, as she was already dating the captain of the football team. She married that same guy a few years later and asked if I would play for her wedding...yeah, right!

John Doe · #7 06-23-2008, 01:48 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by G-Benz

Bring money...you will need it for the reception "cash bar" as well as folding money for the bride when you get your chance at a dance.

Cash bar at a wedding reception? When did Texas secede from the South?

G-Benz · #8 06-23-2008, 01:51 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by John Doe

Cash bar at a wedding reception? When did Texas secede from the South?

I've been to a few trailer trash shindigs...

John Doe · #9 06-23-2008, 01:54 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by G-Benz

I've been to a few trailer trash shindigs...

I may declare I am Baptist and not serve alcohol right before my daughters' weddings, come to think of it

PaulC · #10 06-23-2008, 01:55 PM

Tips for the server at least.

John Doe · #11 06-23-2008, 01:59 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by PaulC

Tips for the server at least.

True.

dynalow · #12 06-23-2008, 02:06 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by John Doe

I may declare I am Baptist and not serve alcohol right before my daughters' weddings, come to think of it

My cousin married in New Bern NC years ago (early 70's) and I think it caused a scandal when her father (my uncle) had a "wet and wild" reception. Shocking to the local Baptists.

My standard gift is 2 complete flatware sets.

I didn't get married until I was 31, so I attended a few weddings solo. Nover had a bad time. I once had a one niter with an ex girlfriend during her engagement (at her request). I went to the wedding. Alone. No guilt No hang ups. Had fun. (She's still married to the guy and lives out west.)

Cash for the open bar? What?
Cash for the envelope at an Italian wedding. Ok. But for the bar? No.

Carleton Hughes · #13 06-23-2008, 02:48 PM

Wedding? Ahhh yes,a funeral where one gets to see and smell one's own flowers.

G-Benz · #14 06-23-2008, 03:14 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by John Doe

I may declare I am Baptist and not serve alcohol right before my daughters' weddings, come to think of it

I grew up Catholic...

t walgamuth · #15 06-23-2008, 03:16 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by John Doe

Well, at least you didn't go to the baby shower, so you get points for that.

Significant other? Single? DOOOOOOD---Wedding receptions are some of the most fertile hunting grounds for a single guy, bar none!!!!! Comon man, all the bride's friends and female relatives will be on their possible biggest bender of the year!! I wouldn't wear a tux unless the wedding is after 6:00 pm, and at this time of year here, I would wear a dinner jacket with the tux.

If you are going to go and feel all sorry for yourself and awkward, stay home and don't ruin the party. If you can grab your sack for two hours and dance marginally, write a taxi service # on your wrist before hand and go trolling

PS: you buy wedding gifts based on your budget, not the budget of the betrothed. My standard gift is a Tiffany ice bucket.

I agree. Its a great place to meet gals. The entire atmosphere is one of celebration and fun. Perfect.

Tom W