My wife is filing for bankruptcy (her ex-husband left her with a mountain of debt) and she manages a surgery center. What she saw previously flying out the door is now coming in as income (medium six figures).

I've always been "Mr. Broke-Ass" but I take care of myself and my mechanical habits. Now she's all "you can quit your ****ty job and concentrate on going to school now" and "now you can afford the parts you need for your race bike" etc.

I feel very very odd

Always saw myself as that guy who shows up at a AHRMA or WERA race with a beat-to-crap Norton on the back of a beat-to-crap truck that I sleep in for the duration of the trip. I like minimalist hiking trips. I don't like rich people food.

I've only been married for a year. I don't feel very comfortable. Should I get over it? Maybe I'll be one of those guys who squirrels away liquid cash for a rainy day.

Wondering if there's anyone here with a similar situation. I think the underlying issue is emasculation or something involving cigars, i duhno

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1972 W115 220D/8 SLS, Coffman Starter "Ümläüt"

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My advice would be to stay away from using her money for selfish ends like a fast race bike or any other kind of material goods, she will lord it over you later, and if you get to liking it too much you will become a dependent sniveling little bum living off someone else, and your friends will see you as such and look down on your sorry ass. I would, however, take advantage of any resources she has that would help you advance your education because that will in the end benefit her as much as you, and it could eventually put you in the same earning class as her, and then you could make her your dependent slave instead.

As harsh as this sounds, it is almost verbatim to what I'm thinking. My post-graduate salary will be almost double hers....

I just don't want to wake up one day and finding myself looking forward to my next resort vacation or hoping I get a new Land Rover for my birthday

f*ck land rovers

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1972 W115 220D/8 SLS, Coffman Starter "Ümläüt"

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(='.'=) This is Bunny. Copy and paste bunny into your
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I really like the group of folks on this forum. It's like my old mantra:

"All the German I needed to know, I learned from Hogan's Heroes"

SCHUUUULLLTTTTZZZZ!!!!!!

My "Magic 8 Ball" is getting jealous.

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1972 W115 220D/8 SLS, Coffman Starter "Ümläüt"

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(='.'=) This is Bunny. Copy and paste bunny into your
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So where is the issue? One day she makes more, next you make more.

__________________
01 Ford Excursion Powerstroke
99 E300 Turbodiesel
91 Vette with 383 motor
05 Polaris Sportsman 800 EFI
06 Polaris Sportsman 500 EFI
03 SeaDoo GTX SC Red
03 SeaDoo GTX SC Yellow
04 Tailgator 21 ft Toy Hauler
11 Harley Davidson 883 SuperLow

I guess there's more going on with me than who makes the money. She comes from money, I don't. I thought it wouldn't be an issue....

I'm going to keep going as normal with my race bike. I've had to cut some corners, learn how to machine my own parts, etc. due to necessity. It doesn't mean anything to me if I order a part and put it on the machine.

Maybe I'm afraid of losing touch of myself. I'm gonna go home and touch myself a few times.

__________________

1972 W115 220D/8 SLS, Coffman Starter "Ümläüt"

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(='.'=) This is Bunny. Copy and paste bunny into your
(")_(") signature to help him gain world domination

It shouldn't be an issue. Should have discussed it BEFORE getting married so there are no such issues during marriage. The wife and I discussed all of that although we were flat broke. Now, if she raises a stink, I can say "Well, we agreed that........ I kept my part of the bargain so where is the issue?"

Please DON'T send us cam shots of that. I can do without that.

__________________
01 Ford Excursion Powerstroke
99 E300 Turbodiesel
91 Vette with 383 motor
05 Polaris Sportsman 800 EFI
06 Polaris Sportsman 500 EFI
03 SeaDoo GTX SC Red
03 SeaDoo GTX SC Yellow
04 Tailgator 21 ft Toy Hauler
11 Harley Davidson 883 SuperLow

TMI!!!!!!!!!

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79 MB 280 SEL Euro 133k
77 MB 450SL 154k
05 Mustang GT Vert (3) 104k
12 TSX Wagon Tech (66k) (192k)
06 Subaru Outback base (135k) 164k
16 Acura MDX (109k) 111k
18 Silverado 2500 LTZ Midnight (212) 56k
97 Ford Ranger 163k
11 RAV4 154k
01 Escape 173k
04 Honda Pilot 292k
1967 Mustang (Resto Project)
1968 Mustang (Parts Bin)
00 Ford Ranger 124k

You might be over-thinking this a little. I've been broke, and I've had some money; having money is better, but it's not a defining factor in life. Think of money as a tool, it allows you some additional freedom to do what you want; do not let it become a burden.

Money doesn't have to change you. A lot of perfectly grounded folks with money out there. The Millionaire Next Door is a favorite book of mine and gets right to that point. I wouldn't fret it so much.

I know you said it didn't really bother you who brought in more money. Good for you. There are some guys who would have a difficult time with that. I can't say I understand that mentality.

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1980 300TD-China Blue/Blue MBTex-2nd Owner, 107K (Alt Blau) OBK #15
'06 Chevy Tahoe Z71 (for the wife & 4 kids, current mule) '03 Honda Odyssey (son #1's ride, reluctantly) '99 GMC Suburban (255K+ miles, semi-retired mule) 21' SeaRay Seville (summer escape pod)

yes, it's called "harsh reality". One of the things you learn about life after you've been around a few more decades than most, is that anytime you do anything to make yourself dependent on anyone, you sell yourself out. It also weakens character, and leads to sloth and drunkenness, and I've got the relatives to prove it, just about everyone does.

You might have a point there.

__________________
'06 E320 CDI
'17 Corvette Stingray Vert

This from you? Kinda unexpected.

__________________
01 Ford Excursion Powerstroke
99 E300 Turbodiesel
91 Vette with 383 motor
05 Polaris Sportsman 800 EFI
06 Polaris Sportsman 500 EFI
03 SeaDoo GTX SC Red
03 SeaDoo GTX SC Yellow
04 Tailgator 21 ft Toy Hauler
11 Harley Davidson 883 SuperLow

My advice to you is to have a hobby that makes money not one that costs money.

I have transitioned my MB repair skills into fixing small engines on the side (mowers, generators, etc.) so I always have cash in my pocket.

Having cash in your pocket is good for morale because it symbolizes options.

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Ben
1987 190d 2.5Turbo

Nope. She spends her share, though. In all honesty, she gave up a pretty comfortable job to stay home and raise our four kids (now 3-12yo). Now that my youngest has started school (kindergarten), I think she's starting to consider getting back into the workforce. It won't be an easy transition for many reasons. I'm trying to talk her into teaching or even special education assistant (she actually got to her last semester in Special Ed and changed her degree, ironically we'd have a son with Down syndrome). Something she'd really enjoy doing rather that what she thinks she needs to do. Quite frankly an extra $20-30K would do just fine.

Take advantage of her furthering your education and leave it at that. Once you're bringing in your (theoretically at least) increased post-graduate earnings, then jump right into the hobbies.

__________________

1980 300TD-China Blue/Blue MBTex-2nd Owner, 107K (Alt Blau) OBK #15
'06 Chevy Tahoe Z71 (for the wife & 4 kids, current mule) '03 Honda Odyssey (son #1's ride, reluctantly) '99 GMC Suburban (255K+ miles, semi-retired mule) 21' SeaRay Seville (summer escape pod)