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#1
08-17-2012, 01:26 PM
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would you get involved or not? re:divorce
we know a guy who is getting divorced. His wife was cheating.
We know that guy professionally but only see him once a year (mostly office Xmas parties- we don't see him informally). We only know the wife via her association to him. So apparently, the wife will go on 'trips' with girlfriends but is actually going with another dude (who is also on a 'business trip') The husband is now gathering infidelity info as ammo for the divorce (child custody, etc). Here's the rub. I happen to have info on the dude's travel activities (date info, expenses, etc.) which can be helpful to the husband. Do I get involved by offering to give him the info or do I stay out of it completely? I could send it to him anonymously? My wife tells me to stay out of it completely. What so you guys think?
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Ben 1987 190d 2.5Turbo 
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#2
08-17-2012, 01:32 PM
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I wouldn't its bound to come back and bite your from one side or the other. You sometimes have to use the "Emmit" rule; if the end result has no effect on you then stay out of it.
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BENZ THERE DONE THAThttp://www.peachparts.com/shopforum/...c/progress.gif 15 VW Passat TDI 00 E420 98 E300 DT 97 E420 Donor Car - NEED PARTS? PM ME! 97 S500 97 E300D 86 Holden Jackaroo Turbo D 86 300SDL (o\|/o)
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#3
08-17-2012, 01:33 PM
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Go the anonymous route.
Cleaner. Safer. Don't talk to the wife about it. Stand back and let the fireworks go where they may. Only you need to know when to duck. 
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.  . M. G. Burg'10 - Dakota SXT - Daily Ride / ≈ 172.5K .'76 - 450SLC - 107.024.12 / < .89.20 K ..'77 - 280E - 123.033.12 / > 128.20 K ...'67 - El Camino - 283ci / > 207.00 K ....'75 - Yamaha - 650XS / < 21.00 K .....'87 - G20 Sportvan / > 206.00 K ......'85 - 4WINNS 160 I.O. / 140hp .......'74 - Honda CT70 / Real 125 . “I didn’t really say everything I said.” . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . ~ Yogi Berra ~
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#4
08-17-2012, 01:47 PM
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Don't get involved, it's not of your business. Little people mingle in other people lives. If it was your family or best friend different story.
__________________
1979 Black on Black, 300CD (sold), 1990 Black 300SE, Silver 1989 Volvo 780, 1988 300CE (vanished by the hands of a girlfriend), 1992 300CE (Rescue).
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#5
08-17-2012, 01:48 PM
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Leak it. American courts are unfairly woman-friendly as it is -- this may level the playing field a bit as far as custody and support. Ms. "C U Next Tuesday" has a job. She shouldn't get a dime of alimony, or anything other than a kick out the door.
The other idea is to let him know you have the info, and that you'll be ecstatically happy to release it when subpoenaed. If you're compelled to release it by a court, no one can fault you for doing so.
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#7
08-17-2012, 02:20 PM
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Quote:
__________________
1992 W201 190E 1.8 171,000 km - Daily driver 1981 W123 300D ~ 100,000 miles / 160,000 km - project car stripped to the bone 1965 Land Rover Series 2a Station Wagon CIS recovery therapy! 1961 Volvo PV544 Bare metal rat rod-ish thing I'm here to chat about cars and to help others - I'm not here "to always be right" like an internet warrior  Don't leave that there - I'll take it to bits!
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#9
08-17-2012, 02:29 PM
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Why? You think it's a good thing for his family and possibly his assets to be stolen from him by a court that's typically unfriendly to men, even if his f**king skank kurva of a wife is cheating on him? Women wouldn't hesitate to help another woman in the same situation. Be a man and level the playing field.
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#10
08-17-2012, 02:33 PM
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If I recall, infidelity/adultery is grounds for divorce in NC, but doesn't affect child support or custody, without other factors (physical abuse, substance abuse) which affect "the best interests of the child." Adultery may be a factor on alimony, but not in property division. For such little impact, involvement in the domestic dispute doesn't have much benefit.
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#11
08-17-2012, 02:36 PM
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Alimony is not a minor matter -- it could be the difference between him leading a comfortable life and being in hand-to-mouth debt slavery for the rest of his life. Plus having to pay for the household of her AND her new boyfriend would be one hell of a humiliation.
As far as custody, billing her trysts to her company would be evidence of moral turpitude. (Basically misappropriation of funds/theft.) Last edited by spdrun; 08-17-2012 at 02:48 PM.
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#12
08-17-2012, 02:53 PM
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If asked, I would tell the truth.
__________________
[SIGPIC] Diesel loving autocrossing grandpa Architect. 08 Dodge 3/4 ton with Cummins & six speed; I have had about 35 benzes. I have a 39 Studebaker Coupe Express pickup in which I have had installed a 617 turbo and a five speed manual.  [SIGPIC]..I also have a 427 Cobra replica with an aluminum chassis.
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#13
08-17-2012, 03:09 PM
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Quote:
I don't believe the OP suggested that the wife billed her employer, rather it was the BF.
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#14
08-17-2012, 03:10 PM
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Probably not. I'm happy to let you be the judge. Here, use services like this to protect your identity.
10minutemail.net 10minutemail.com https://www.torproject.org/projects/torbrowser.html.en Also note that heavily formatted document formats like MS Word and pdf can store metadata such as your name,and other information that could be used to identify you. Use notepad or something like that.
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Remember, Safety Third! '99 E300 Turbodiesel, '82 300TD, 1996 12V Cummins Turbo, '94 Neoplan - Detroit 6V92TA
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#15
08-17-2012, 03:13 PM
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Regardless, she shouldn't get a red cent. As far as custody, if she'll be living with her thief of a boyfriend, it could still be held as evidence of moral turpitude in the household.
I wouldn't bother with ID protection. I'd just approach him and speak to him in private (nothing in writing), saying that I had the info and that his lawyer could subpoena it if he found it useful.
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