Tonight i had an unwelcome visitor on my doorstep,the old neighbor from across the street.

he was a nice enough guy when they moved in, and we kinda became friends. i always knew he was " on something" but never could put my foot on it.he later admitted to being a meth addict for over 20 years. completely changed my view on people addicted to meth. he ate 3 meals a day, went to bed at a normal time, and went to work every day as a pipe fitter.

about a year later he lost his job and since his wife was an rn, he never really returned to the workforce, but instead started collecting scrap all day long to cover his habit. close to a year ago i started to see things head downhill fast. not sure if his habit had worsened, or if it finally got to him after all of these years. our friendship ended bad, very bad. in the end, he tried to steal some equipment i had loaned him in the past and it was either involve the cops, or kick the living **** out of him and take it back. i chose the legal route.

he got violent with his wife and lost everything about 2 months after that. wife, kids, house, truck, everything. he spent some time in jail and when released, now lives on the streets. i had really hoped to never see him again.

so fast forward to tonight, he showed up at my door, tried to apologize for what happened, told me he was gonna be doing time and asked me for money so he could get something to eat.

i turned him away, told him i have nothing for him. the more i thought about it, in a small way, i feel terrible. i hate to see anyone hungry, but how do i know he wasnt a couple of bucks from his next fix? why is it my problem he cant afford to eat? feed a stray, they stray will keep coming back right?

i almost wish i had handed him $5 and told him dont ever come on my property again.

just my latenight ramblings

__________________
have no worries.....President Obama swears "If you like your gun, you can keep it

Spend the money instead to buy a keyboard with a Caps Lock feature that works.

__________________
1991 560 SEC AMG, 199k <---- 300 hp 10:1 ECE euro HV ...

1995 E 420, 170k "The Red Plum" (sold)

2015 BMW 535i xdrive awd Stage 1 DINAN, 6k, <----364 hp

1967 Mercury Cougar, 49k

2013 Jaguar XF, 20k <----340 hp Supercharged, All Wheel Drive (sold)

I would have done the same. I don't like anyone standing on my doorstep asking for money. I will freely give to people if they approach me in the street but I do not want my home to be known as a source of income. I consider it to be an invasion of privacy - I consider it to be an aggressive act even if it is someone collecting for cancer research!

If someone asks for money to buy food I offer to buy them a sandwich. Sometimes people refuse my offer.

__________________
1992 W201 190E 1.8 171,000 km - Daily driver
1981 W123 300D ~ 100,000 miles / 160,000 km - project car stripped to the bone
1965 Land Rover Series 2a Station Wagon CIS recovery therapy!
1961 Volvo PV544 Bare metal rat rod-ish thing

I'm here to chat about cars and to help others - I'm not here "to always be right" like an internet warrior



Don't leave that there - I'll take it to bits!

Blow me

__________________
have no worries.....President Obama swears "If you like your gun, you can keep it

I do give money to panhandlers often but in this case I would have done the same as you.

I had a fellow show up at my house one day who I had known years before in my Jaycee days. He wanted money. He had stolen from the club when we were Jaycees together. I figured if I gave him money he'd be back and last thing I wanted was him around. I asked him if he was on drugs (very skinny) and told him about the places he could get free food and a place to sleep.

A few months later he died. I don't remember from what. My first job was to protect my home from a predatory person.

Put it out of your mind.

__________________
[SIGPIC] Diesel loving autocrossing grandpa Architect. 08 Dodge 3/4 ton with Cummins & six speed; I have had about 35 benzes. I have a 39 Studebaker Coupe Express pickup in which I have had installed a 617 turbo and a five speed manual.[SIGPIC]

..I also have a 427 Cobra replica with an aluminum chassis.

You made the right move not giving him any money. You are right, once you gave him a handout, hed be coming back every couple of days.

I once lived in a house with 3 roommates. 2 guys, 2 girls, we were all good friends, but one of the girls had had some drug problems in the past, and was seriously impressionable by whoever she was around. Sports people, she was into sports, bikes, she was into bikes, ect. Whatever fad the "cool" people were into, she was into, including drugs and booze.

When she lived with the 3 of us, she was fine, in college, pursuing a degree, had her head on straight, but after the group moved apart, she started dating yet another drug dealer, and life went south again for her.

Related to whats gone on with your neighbor, then she always needed money from the other 3 of us she used to live with, and we would constantly give her 20 bucks or more, for whatever legitimate emergency she claimed, rides, let her crash for a few nights, and so on.

Gradually everyone grew apart from her, and got tired of the leech situation, as it became clear she was buying meth and cocaine financed by us. Over a period of 5 years she must have aged 20. was the saddest thing to watch, thanks to the meth.

At one point i was dealing with a family crisis and medical bills for a dying relative. I hadnt heard from this girl in over a year, and suddenly out of the blue i get a call from her saying she needs 110 dollars that her dealer boyfriend was going to kill her if she didnt produce it, rent money she smoked up, or it could have all been a lie, not sure.
I was uncharacteristically cold to her, told her guess what, everyone has their own problems, shes an adult, she can figure it out, among other things. Basically i tore a strip off her, left her crying on the phone, and then i hung up.

Later i felt terrible, but decided i had made the right move, though i felt miserable about it for a long time. It wasnt until years later she called all of us and told us she was in a program finally, and apologized to all of us, and did not ask us for money. She said she had hit rock bottom, all her friends and family had finally turned their back, and she had no more support, was living on the street. It was then she either had to choose to help herself, or choose to die that way.

Sometimes the cold shoulder is the only choice, people cannot be helped if they cannot help themselves, and get to the point where they will say anything to try and get you to give them a little money. You cant help but remember who they were, but they arent that person anymore, and have to find themselves again. No one can tell them to get treatment and enter drug programs, they have to hit rock bottom and decide they need it too IMO

Nothing is beneath a person in that position. My friend was prostituting herself in the end to dealers for drugs, this guy would be breaking into your house stealing things in order to buy meth

__________________
This post brought to you by Carl's Jr.

Hard choice. I'd like to think I'd give him some money but I don't know.

My feeling is that I cannot predict the future of another man. He may snort it, he may eat. Not for me to judge.

Back in another life I used to take beggars who claimed to be hungry to MacDonalds and sat with them while they ate a Big Mac, fries and a shake. Some were hungry, some were not.

For me its definitely gotten to be a jaded thing. I used to be very generous to someone asking for money, but after you give the same guy money a couple times, you start getting tired of it.

Just had an amusing incident the other night, was fueling up near my shop in a transitional area of town, another guy fueling across the island from me. Guy walks up to us and starts to ask the guy across the island for money, changes his mind, asks me. I see the guy across the island shaking his head, so i tell the beggar no. He promptly tells me that he hopes i die a miserable death.

Guy across the island then tells me that he went to high school with that guy, and that its true what they say, crack is wack.

__________________
This post brought to you by Carl's Jr.

I have done the exact same thing maybe 5 times. In all times the people asked if I would consider buying food in a diner where they could get a doggy bag.

I asked a couple if they would prefer 10 bucks' worth of groceries, specifically canned goods.

They were overjoyed.

One guy I employed on my outside property one whole summer to give him eating money as he cleaned up brush etc,

Guess it depends on the guy.

__________________
Strelnik
Invest in America: Buy a Congressman!

1950 170SD
1951 Citroen 11BN
1953 Citroen 11BNF limo
1953 220a project
1959 180D
1960 190D
1960 Borgward Isabella TS 2dr
1983 240D daily driver
1983 380SL
1990 350SDL daily driver alt
3 x Citroen DS21M, down from 5
3 x Citroen 2CV, down from 6

I don't know what is best. Had a neighbor who was clearly an alcoholic. He was a painter. I employed him a few times to do some small jobs. He painted well. He moved a few blocks away and I didn't see him for quite a while. One day he showed up on my doorstep asking to borrow $40. I knew his history and I was of two minds. I ended up giving him the $40 and writing it off. A few weeks later he returned the $40. Every few months he'd show up at my doorstep asking to borrow. I'd loan and a few weeks later I'd get it back. He eventually moved about 20 miles away. He'd still show up occasionally for money and would return cash to me thru the mail. He never really got his life in order. I learned he died a couple of years ago. You never know.

__________________
1977 300d 70k--sold 08
1985 300TD 185k+
1984 307d 126k--sold 8/03
1985 409d 65k--sold 06
1984 300SD 315k--daughter's car
1979 300SD 122k--sold 2/11
1999 Fuso FG Expedition Camper
1993 GMC Sierra 6.5 TD 4x4
1982 Bluebird Wanderlodge CAT 3208--Sold 2/13

So true. Trusting him might have made a difference in his life at least for a while.

__________________
[SIGPIC] Diesel loving autocrossing grandpa Architect. 08 Dodge 3/4 ton with Cummins & six speed; I have had about 35 benzes. I have a 39 Studebaker Coupe Express pickup in which I have had installed a 617 turbo and a five speed manual.[SIGPIC]

..I also have a 427 Cobra replica with an aluminum chassis.

maybe. Im impressed that Kerry got the money back. The more typical story would be the guy would be back for more money and be sorry about the other money

__________________
This post brought to you by Carl's Jr.

When I lived in Old Louisville, KY; I learned to not give money to the panhandlers because this just encouraged them to stay in our neighborhood. I learned to say no, I couldn't give them money. I did offer them a ride to where Free Food was served. They always rejected the offer.

When the liquor store finally quit selling to them, they started stealing mouthwash from the local Family Dollar Store; Walgreens had to watch out, too.

__________________
daw_two
Germantown, TN

Links:
Sold last car --- 05/2012 1984 300D Light Ivory, Red interior
Cluster Needles Paint
New Old Stock (NOS) parts

Past:
3/2008 1986 300SDL "Coda"
04/2010 1965 190D(c) "Ben"
& many more

Most of my experiences of this have been in London

__________________
1992 W201 190E 1.8 171,000 km - Daily driver
1981 W123 300D ~ 100,000 miles / 160,000 km - project car stripped to the bone
1965 Land Rover Series 2a Station Wagon CIS recovery therapy!
1961 Volvo PV544 Bare metal rat rod-ish thing

I'm here to chat about cars and to help others - I'm not here "to always be right" like an internet warrior



Don't leave that there - I'll take it to bits!

I understand the struggle, but remember he is hungry because of a history of bad choices that HE made. From the sounds of it I don't think he is at a place where he is sick and tired of being sick and tired of his situation. Had you given him money he would be back again. Cheer up and watch out.

__________________
Current:
1985 300D aka Miss Margaret
1991 300SE aka Alarice
1995 SL320 aka Samantha
1997 K1500 Silverado
Past:
1999 E300 ex-wife got it and let her son ruin it
1984 190 2.3 ex-wife got it and let her son destroy a great car
1985 300D (CA version) aka Maybelline lost to deer at high speed.
1981 300D aka Madeline (went to salvage at near 400k) rusty, yet best car I ever drove
Wishlist:
McFarlan TV6 (only a few privately owned)
ReVere with Rochester engine
1917 Premier (only one left)